Falcons Forum

Hi, this is Don't call me Dick from Whitby's Most Beloved Slo Pitch Team, the Falcons, here to talk to you about maxi pads.

Do you bleed? I mean, really bleed? Like, bleed like a mofo? Well, let me tell you from experience, you need maxi pads. Whenever I get a massive and gruesome injury from sliding into second base, taking a tumble diving for a liner, or have just eaten too much Mexican food, I turn to my maxi pads. Super absorbent, and they make me feel like a man. Just stick 'em to wherever you're bleeding: leg, arm, forehead, you know, wherever the red is. If they won't stick (and they won't), just use the handyman's secret weapon, duct tape.

I try to keep a supply in my equipment bag for when it's just that time of the game, or when my skin has decided not to do its only job and keep my insides on the inside.

Whenever I run out of my maxi pads, I know I can trust that Senior, who buys them in bulk for his own personal use, will have some extras.

This has been Don't call me Dick, for maxi pads. Stay fresh!