Oh hi!! Long time no see!
We don't keep count of hits on the website, so it's actually meaningful hearing the number of people who have been missing this column since I got too busy to write it for a bit. But knowing that, now I realize I can't half-ass it! See? I'll complain about anything.
(11-2 Overall; Tied for 1st in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 8)
It wouldn't take much to convince people that the reason this column has been missing since it's most recent publication is because Storm hasn't lost since they were placed eighth with a 1-2 record. But here we are, game recognizing game while simultaneously resisting the urge to throw up. Storm has won TEN straight to rocket to the top of the President's Division with the A's, and in the process has built the best run differential in all the land. Are we witnessing the beginning of another 2015-esque STREAK? Dear God, I hope not.
(11-2 Overall; Tied for 1st in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 1)
The A's have won two straight and 5 of their last 6 to keep their share of the President's Division lead away from the oncoming Storm. If they could just get a group chat going so they could coordinate their shirts for a single game, that would be swell.
#3. TRIPLE PLAY
(7-3-1 Overall; 1st in Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 4)
Triple Play moves up a spot in the rankings, thanks not only to a two game lead in the VP Division over attendance-beleaguered Buellers, but also the only positive run differential in the division. They've also won their last two games over President's Division foes and only lost to Storm by two runs. A change in division appears to be coming at the end of the season, to go along with the division championship cheque. Can they keep it up?
#4. THE CREW
(8-3 Overall; 2nd in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 2)
The Crew drops two spots despite a two game winning streak and the second best run differential in the league. Could the drop be attributed to the lack of walk-up music for the visiting Falcons in their last meeting? Probably not, but you can't rule out how long or hard I'll hold a grudge.
#5. THE BUELLERS
(6-6-1 Overall; 2nd in Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 3)
So they named their team because the sponsor is Ferris Group Real Estate, but could they have foreseen that they could begin all their games playing the scene from the movie of Ben Stein delivering the iconic "Bueller? Bueller?" line? Attendance, or lack thereof, is the theme of the team but they've managed to persevere and maintain a .500 record. And for that, they get the #5 spot.
(7-6 Overall; 4th in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 5)
If you'd seen the Falcons during a few of their not-so-great performances of the season (the 26-1 Storm game, that one doubleheader, that OTHER doubleheader), you'd wonder how the hell the Falcons still have a winning record. They do because when the team's on point, they can beat Storm 31-19, limit The +80 run diff Crew to only 6 for a win and do the needful during the week. But if they want to move up in the division, they'll have to beat the A's (0-2, -16 run diff), Hanet (0-2, only -3), and cool off a red-hot Storm.
(5-6; 5th in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 7)
Broadway's the anti-thesis of the Falcons: a losing record despite a positive run differential. That alone will tell you that they're not likely to finish in the bottom half of the division at the end of the season.
(5-8 Overall; Tied for 3rd in Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 11)
A three-spot jump for the Isotopes, despite recent struggles. After a disappointing 1-3 start where their only win was by default, they swept a doubleheader to give them some hope. Then a 2-4 stretch where one win was by default brings us to today where they're 3 games under .500 and -10 in runs. So who is this team?
(5-8 Overall; tied for 3rd in Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 10)
Surge, like their division foes the Isotopes, struggled early. Then they won 3 in a row. And now a 2-4 stretch popped that balloon. They'll need to find some run-scoring consistency if they have hopes of creeping up in the standings.
#10. HANET PLASTICS
(4-9 Overall; 6th in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 6)
Not to worry, Hanet fans! This happens every. Single. Year. Hanet enjoys a good May before minor ball season starts. Then they struggle with attendance issues and the associated run support until the end of August when all the minor ball coaches return to the roster and then they sweep through the playoffs. They'll finish strong, no doubt about it. We all hope George is OK.
#11. COULAS BONE CRUSHERS
(4-9 Overall; 5th in Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 9)
Coulas seems to be having a one-step-forward, two-steps-back type of season. When they're winning, they're scoring a lot of runs but in losses they can't seem to get out of their own way. Lots of season left to see if they can turn things around.
#12. THE EXPOS
(0-11 Overall; 6th Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 12)
Sigh. Here we go: The Expos have yet to win. They own the league's worst record, and the worst run differential (the only team down triple digits). HOWEVER, they also own one of only two home run jackets in the league, and can give any team a run for their money in the fun department. If it's not against the A's on Wednesday, their first win could come next weekend in a doubleheader on K1 during Falcons pizza night. So they'll have a cheering section.
Follow the @ShittyFalcons on Twitter (Seriously)
TWEET the Power Rankings to your followers.
SHARE this story on Facebook with all your friends!
EMAIL this story to your friends and non-social-media-conscious family to read of your exploits!