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assignment Falcons Avenge Earlier Loss to Coulas

In an effort to prove that small ball is still a viable way to win baseball games, the Falcons exploded for 32 runs without hitting any home runs or triples to beat Coulas 32-12 on Wednesday night.

Still feeling the sting of giving up a 9-0 lead in their previous meeting, the Falcons (9-2) kept their foot planted firmly on the accelerator all the way until the sixth inning in this one. After the Falcons scored 6 in the first, 11 in the second and 7 in the third inning, Coulas (8-3-2) made an adjustment, and paralyzed the Falcons offence for the next two innings before they returned to form for the sixth, scoring seven more.

“We finally got that triple cheeseburger” said SLF after the game. “Sure is satisfying!”
Responded Thirteen Dollar Bill: “I still prefer fur.”

The Falcons almost had another pizza free game, thus threatening to leave the team hungry come the evening of July 14. Feeling sorry for them, Beaver FK'ed with a runner on third with less than two out to make a 2/3 contribution.

The game was not without its comedic moments. Don’t call me Dick displayed his fondness for a certain KC and the Sunshine Band song, thankfully without the hard-core nudity (“You call THAT shaking your ass?!” shouted The Legend). The Falcons outfield was frequently caught socializing, as they discussed recent graduations, zoo trips, mani-pedi’s, Real Housewives of the OC, and new sponsor websites. As well, both teams displayed pathetic ineptitude while trying to execute a run-down. As all the outfielders noted, “Jeez guys, it’s not that difficult!”

Game Notes: Not to be forgotten is that Goliath broke a 72-year-old record by hitting safely in his 57th consecutive game!... The only team in the WMSPL to score 30 or more runs in one 2012 game was Coulas (twice)… Dougothy’s car wouldn’t start after the game, so he was forced to hang around for beers even though he obviously didn’t want to. You know, what with him already being dressed for bed and whatnot… Beware of any attempts to choose your own nickname, right Big Pussy?… Dinner’s attempt to break SLF’s nose prior to the game was unsuccessful… Senior was trying out some new catchphrases after the game, finally settling on “F*** YOU GUYS!!”… SLF, The Legend and Dougothy continue their campaign against the Molson-Coors Brewing Company (“Fight the good fight, ya pansies!” said The Legend)…


2B: Papa Bear (2), Thirteen Dollar Bill, Beaver, Dinner
3B: --
HR: --
HR-Singles: --
RBI: Cashley (6), Papa Bear (5), Dinner’s wife’s husband (4), Dougothy (3), The Legend (3), Fo’ Shizzle (3), Don’t call me Dick (3), Thirteen Dollar Bill (2), Senior, SLF, Tank
LOB: 10
PIZZAS: Beaver (2/3)



STADIUM: K1 Stadium (Naming rights still available)
ATTENDANCE: 3 (15% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)
GAME TIME: 1:25+
WEATHER: 11.4°C, Rich, Dark and Mooney; Wind N, 4 km/h (weather data courtesy Environment Canada)


Team 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Final
Coulas Bone Crushers 1 0 2 5 0 0 4 12
Falcons 6 11 7 0 1 7 - 32
Tags: None
Posted on: Wednesday June 19th, 2013 at 9:30PM