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assignment Falcons Suffer Worst Defeat of Season

No amount of Dougothy (Newton John) getting physical could help the Falcons on Sunday evening, as the bats maintained their slumber and the defence pooped the bed in a 21-7 loss to the Devils, the largest margin of defeat for the Falcons so far this season.

The game began in good spirits with Dougothy providing the levity. He accessorised his ruby red slippers with a matching 70’s era headband providing not only a good laugh and endless memories, but website fodder for years to come. Angel of the morning, indeed.

Things quickly spiraled out of control after that. The offence stumbled out of the gate, fell on its face, broke its leg and had to be destroyed. Master Motivator Don’t call me Dick noted after the game that if this keep up, he may have to turn to scare tactics (threats of streaking have been hinted at) to revive the bats.

The Devils played short, having to pick up master foul-out artist Chris Mace from Xtreme to field a full squad. Luckily, lead team investigator Timmy had already hacked Xtreme’s website to discover Mace’s spray chart, and had strategically placed Dinner half way up the hill to cover his at-bats. Mace went 1 for 6 on the day.

What the defence couldn’t cover, on the other hand, were the seemingly endless dink and dunk singles the Devils laid out. At least TWENTY FIVE of them were hit on the day, and the Devils put up innings scoring 7, 9, and 5 runs.

With the loss, the Falcons have completed half their season, amassing 12 victories. The team has been streaky, with the exception of this game, having never come back after a single loss with a win. They’ve had three 2 game losing streaks, and an eight game winning streak (remember free beer?) They enter the second half of the season sitting in a comfortable third place in the President’s Division standings, 2.5 games behind first place Storm.

Game Notes: The Falcons appear to have a season ticket holder, supporting the team on this day rocking Falcon Blue… Dougothy got physical, physical, scoring two runs. He was not talking about practice… Iron Mike (the Velvet Fog) is looking for a karaoke machine… Sad state of affairs if your leadoff hitter only gets three plate appearances…


2B: Don’t call me Dick, Senior
3B: Fo’ Shizzle, SLF
HR: --
HR-Singles: --
RBI: Our only Friend (3), SLF (2), Goliath, Tank
LOB: 8
PIZZAS: Thirteen Dollar Bill (1/3), Don’t call me Dick (1/3), The Legend (1/3)



STADIUM: K1 Stadium (Naming rights still available)
ATTENDANCE: 2, plus a dozen or so Hill People (70% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)
WEATHER: 29.3°C, Clear, Sunny, HOT. Damn hot. Real hot; Wind SE, 9 km/h (weather data courtesy Environment Canada)


Team 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Final
St. Louis Devils 0 0 0 7 0 9 5 21
Falcons 1 0 0 1 1 3 1 7
Tags: None
Posted on: Sunday July 14th, 2013 at 6:30PM