Falcons Forum

Falcons Forum

assignment Right Down Broadway
Wednesday 8:00PM June 6th, 2018
Sure, it was inevitable. Sure, it was only a relatively meaningless regular season game. And sure, if you look at the recent overall record between these teams, it didn't look good for the Falcons. But those same Falcons played giant killer on Wednesday night, handing previously undefeated Broadway a 19-13 loss that will surely be talked about in Slo-Pitch circles until AT LEAST probably Monday.

In the hours leading up to the game, things looked bleak for the Falcons. They were already down to 8 players when Band Camp tried to get out of playing, too. But he showed commitment to the team and showed up to play. Two other Falcons rearranged their lives to give the team a 10-man squad to take the field of battle against the WMSPL's best team. Even Drew from Re/Max wanted to see Broadway go down so bad that he was offering to play without even being asked! ("BOOOOOOO!", he wrote in a email, when told the Falcons had enough players, "I might come down and watch anyways!")

Broadway plated 1 in the top of the first, right before another run was cut down at the plate by a terrific relay from Bruce Banner to Levi via Band Camp. Fundamentals! Levi then came to the plate in the bottom of the first and crushed a mighty wallop to score three, his 3rd dong of his young career.

The Mattural, having destroyed his already pre-destroyed knee on Sunday, brought part of the family out to watch. Another example of committed players coming to cheer the team on while injured.

After holding Broadway to a 4-up, 3-down top of the second, the Falcons again went on a hitting spree, pounding out 6 singles and scoring 4 to take a 7-1 lead into the third.

After trading deuces in the 3rd innning, which sounds way dirtier that it should, Broadway exploded for 5 in to the top of the fourth. The Falcons answered with a 3-up, 3-down bottom half, and things looked like they could go south.

Broadway tied the game at 9 apiece in the top of the fifth. This is usually where the Falcons collapse, but not on this night. Band Camp lead off the bottom of the fifth with a dong, a selfish solo shot. SLF eschewed his glasses for batting and smoked a single to right. After a pop-up by Banner, Hobo cashed two ducks with his 3rd hit (of 4 on the night) with a dead-centre blast. It was his second of the year, and hopefully a taste of more to come. The Falcons lead 12-9 going into the sixth.

The Falcons defence locked down Broadway in the sixth inning, only allowing 1 run on 3 hits. The Falcons needed some insurance, and it was provided. They batted around in the bottom of the sixth, scoring 7 and tucking this one into bed.

Two Home Runs In One Inning Watch: The last time a Falcon hit two home runs in one inning was August 29, 2012.

Game Notes: Re/Max's Drew left at 8:01, per his email to SLF. Informed he should have stuck around to watch, he responded: "F%!# that! I'm at the bar! Falcons SUCK!"... The Mattural's injured MCL joins his torn PCL. One more and he gets a free ice cream at the clinic!... If the Mattural's injury were to sideline him for the remainder of the season, he's already put up numbers that a lot of players would give their left nut to have over a WHOLE season (.825/.825/1.900, 2.725 OPS, 11 HR, 37 RBI)... Here's hoping that "my wife works late on Wednesdays" isn't code for "Wednesday is date night".

The Hot (Take) Corner: Regardless of the results of this election, let's remember to love each other.

Baseball Jersey Numbers, Ranked: I didn't even have to write this one, but it is ABSOLUTELY the correct take.


2B: Million Dollar Bill (2), Poutine, Pikachu, Hobo
3B: Band Camp
HR: Levi, Band Camp, Hobo
RBI: Levi (4), Poutine (3), Million Dollar Bill (3), Hobo (3), Teets (2), Band Camp (2), Chequebook, Bruce Banner
PIZZAS: Chequebook (1/3), SLF (1/3), Poutine (1/3)

DOUBLE PLAYS: One, I think.


ATTENDANCE: 3 (15% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

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Team 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Final
Broadway 1 0 2 5 1 1 3 13
Falcons 3 4 2 0 3 7 X 19
Tags: win, broadway, hobo
Posted on: Thursday June 7th, 2018 at 9:39AM
Comment #1

Man, this is better than the writing on ESPN....

Posted on: Thursday June 7th, 2018 at 9:47AM
Posted by: Hobo
Comment #2

NDP candidate - "If elected, I'm going to make sure that children have plenty of areas to play.

Have you seen whats going on in Whitby? Men playing slo-pitch on this tiny kids diamond. That should be for kids only. Kids are the future. Baseball might be the future of our economy.

To the best of my knowledge Baseball players are NOT part of the NAFTA agreement. Hahaha Mr. Trump, you can't put a tariff on baseball players."

GREEN candidate - "Listen everyone, the NDP doesn't know what they are talking about...again.

The NDP candidate just mentioned a park in Whitby that should ONLY be used by kids. He is WRONG. You know why??? Because, the ball park is so small, the Green party doesn't even think kids should play on it. Maybe some kids under the age of 7 could make use of the tiny ball park.

The GREEN party believes that we could plant 6 trees on the ball diamond - that is all we have room for....but it will really help the environmental issues we face. Let me assure you. If you vote for the PC party, you are sentencing the world to dire environmental problems."

PC Candidate - "All this talk about environmental problems and who should be using the ball park in Whitby.
Should it be boys?
Should it be Men?
I'm here to suggest it should be BOYZ 2 MEN

In a free market economy, everything is available to the highest bidder. Think of the money that will be generated for the local economy if we take the ball park and convert it into an amphitheatre that gives BOYZ 2 MEN a 5 month residency.

A B2M concert every night. What a windfall for everyone. Great music! Increased Income for the region. Jobs, Jobs, Jobs. Alas, this won't happen, because of the Liberals and the increased minimum wage. Small business owners can't even afford to dream big.

As long as the Liberals stay in power - Whitby will not get the 150 BOYZ 2 MEN concerts it so desperately needs....and deserves."

LIBERAL candidate - "The town of Whitby is doing well economically thanks to the Liberals. Just look at all the local businesses that are prospering and sponsoring local slo-pitch teams.

Take the Falcons for instance. If Mr. Thompson wasn't running seven very successful, local brothels, he wouldn't have extra dollars to spend supporting a slo-pitch team that has more bats than players.

I don't even know what Re/Max is but let me tell you, they are local...and they paid an enormous fee to buy and relocate the team formerly known as Extreme Drinking.

They bought a WMSPL franchise using a combination of BitCoin, LiteCoin, ZCash. All those cryptocurrencies were earned right here in Whitby. Maybe Re/Max sells video games? Anyways, you can all thank the Liberals that you are prospering in a booming economy.

Sure we have expensive hydro rates and the league has to stop playing games at 9:35 pm because they can't afford to keep the park lights on, but, baseball was meant to be played in either the sunshine or pitch darkness."

Posted on: Thursday June 7th, 2018 at 6:12PM
Posted by: The Notorious D.O.U.G (Ontario Election edition)
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