assignment Falcons Dismount Schneid, Win First Straight
Friday 8:00PM August 6th, 2021The Falcons ended their longest ever losing streak in spectacular fashion, winning 31-10 over a depleted Broadway squad on Friday night.
The game began late, as both teams did their best Sonic the Hedgehog impression waiting on an umpire that would never show. In the third inning, in trotted the cavalry... and he looked AWFULLY FAMILIAR....Hmmmmm🤔...
Anyway, in the mean time, The Crew's Scott Sonley did his best Angel Hernandez impression behind the plate. It should be noted that in addition to umping the game, he was also catching for Broadway, so, like, some forgiveness is appropriate. Also, to be fair, if Dunner is going to compare his sliding catch to Edelman, he shouldn't get the call. Any comparison to Brady, Edelman, the Patriots or Belichick should immediately result in the appeal being denied. God, they're the worst.
The Falcons put up the MAX6 in the first, scoring the first 6 in the batting order and recording only a single out; and Broadway responded with 4 of their own. Another 4 for the visitors in the top of the second, followed by the Falcons defence holding Broadway to a delicious doughnut in the bottom half gave the Falcons a 10-4 lead through two. The teams exchanged threes in the third and doughnuts in the fourth.
As the mercy-limited innings ended, the wheels fell off for Broadway. Not that they played poorly, they just didn't get some bounces. After a spectacular pick on a ground ball, a spike of the throw... that kind of thing. It all stringed together, and at the end, the Falcons had scored 14 in the fifth.
Broadway came back, bats-a-blazing in the bottom of the fifth. Shayne led off with his third moon-shot of the game, and as with the first two, neither outfielder on the right side even moved. All three were majestic. Sonley followed up two batters later with a dinger of his own, putting Broadway up +2... though no one on the home side really clued into this? To be fair, no one on the Broadway side was keeping score, putting their trust in the capable hands of SLF Jr to manage the game. Broadway put two more runners on and crushed another dinger to end the inning, amid controversy.
In the sixth, with the time limit looming, Grahambo and Poutine both went yard in a 4-run effort. Broadway went quietly in the bottom half as the clock struck midnight (figuratively, people!) and the game ended.
Game notes: Poutine's retrieval of his home run ball in the sixth took SIX BATTERS for him to return. Did someone hide a cooler and a carton of smokes out on the football field?... SLF Jr also apparently charges $45/hr for babysitting? Maybe The Mattural should have read the contract... New Mike almost socked his first career dinger, coming a couple feet short of the weeping tile... A 9-man bench is great for getting your AB's, but really, only if it's not a doubleheader.
2B: Poutine (3), Grahambo (2), New Mike, Goliath, Dunner, SLF
3B: The Mattural, Cowboy
HR: The Mattural, Goliath, Grahambo, Poutine
RBI: The Mattural (7)(!), Poutine (5), SLF (5), Grahambo (4), Goliath (4), New Mike (3), Dunner (2), Cowboy
DOUBLE PLAYS: None
BATTERS FACED: 37
STADIUM: K1 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 4 (20% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)
Follow the @ShittyFalcons on Twitter (Seriously)
TWEET this recap to your followers.
SHARE this story on Facebook with all your friends!
EMAIL this story to your friends and non-social-media-conscious family to read of your exploits!
At The Plate
|arrow_rightMichael:||🔥 6 for 6|
|arrow_rightMike:||🔥 5 for 5 + SF|
|arrow_rightBill:||5 for 6|
|arrow_rightBrett: $15 for NSO||👍 $15|
|arrow_rightSteve: $5 for SR3B||$5|
The team sincerely thanks you for your contributions!🤑