Tuesday 8:00PM June 17th, 2025

With the first, second, and third string shortstops all signed out, Dunner stepped up and blew right past his goal of "not terrible" making play after play and cementing his status as Certified Fourth String Shortstop in an 18-6 weekday night win over Glorious Dan and the Inglorious Batters.

At least we didn't need to borrow a catcher.

Coming off a pretty good offensive performance to close out the Sunday doubleheader, the Falcons hoped that momentum carried into Tuesday. Because the line up was crafted by SLF, it didn't. It never does. Every time. It's the fifth bloody inning AT LEAST before anything happens.

And so it was: the Batters and Falcons exchanged deuces for the first couple innings with neither team really able to get anything going. No one came within a sniff of a dinger all game. The balls are anti-juiced. Are these the ones that sat in Joey's trunk all winter? Investigate?

The story of the night was Dunner at short, gobbling up anything that came close and only showing off the outfield arm once, and even Greg "Bird" Elcich wouldn't have been able to grab that one. He even turned a double play by himself, corralling a ground ball before stepping on the bag at two and firing to first for the twin killing. The future is bright at short, if the unfathomably unlikely carpool of Handsome Jer, Grahambo and Poutine drove off a bridge at some point.

Game Notes: Dr J is batting .706 over the last six Falcons games, and will bat leadoff for the Falcons on Friday against Storm... Shohei, batting .640 over that same period, will bat second...

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Miner Leaguer (2), Million Dollar Bill, SLF
3B: Cowboy
HR: None
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Cowboy (4), Dunner (3), SLF (3), Goliath (2), Million Dollar Bill (2), Miner Leaguer, Teets, Barry Guerrero Jr, Dr J

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: Dunner-Barry Guerrero Jr

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 40

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K2 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 2 (10% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

Sunday 9:30PM June 15th, 2025

The Falcons somehow maintained the momentum established in the top of the seventh inning from the game before, when they put up 6 runs, and beat Broadway decisively 19-1 to close out their Father's Day doubleheader on Sunday night.

Much like very soon after a drunken midnight trip to Taco Bell, the runs came early and often for the Falcons in this game. They got the bats going in the top of the first inning, scoring three highlighted by Dunner's $5 contribution to the pizza fund with an FK. In the second, the visitors put up another two runs with Dunner again providing the highlight, but this time it was positive: an RBI double.

The Falcons scored one in each of the next three innings, while keeping the home Broadway bats ridiculously quiet. Broadway managed only 8 hits in this game, three of them coming in the third where they scored their run.

In the sixth, the floodgates opened. The Falcons sent all of their players, and Glorious Dan, to the plate plus a couple more for good measure in a bat-around inning in which they scored six. As in the first, this inning was highlighted by an FK by SLF to add to the kitty. The Falcons didn't let up in the seventh, scoring five more.

Game Notes: Kudos to Homie for keeping track of the ball on Miner Leaguer's 6-3-4-1 rundown in the first inning... Thanks again to Dan for playing in his ninth and tenth games of the weekend...

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Cowboy (2), Poutine (2), Shohei, Dunner, Miner Leaguer, SLF, Barry Guerrero Jr
3B: None
HR: None
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Barry Guerrero Jr (5), Dunner (3), Shohei (2), Cowboy (2), Miner Leaguer (2), Poutine (2), Million Dollar Bill

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: Cowboy-Barry Guerrero Jr; Million Dollar Bill-Poutine-Barry Guerrero Jr

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 27

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K2 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 2 (10% FULL)

Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

Sunday 8:00PM June 15th, 2025

A short (very short) Falcons squad's lifeless bats came up short in the opener of Sunday's doubleheader, losing 18-10 to Triple Play.

Father's Day, celebrated all over the world (except at Poutine's house), is a difficult day to find on the calendar. It's only been the third Sunday in June for over a century, so honestly figuring out when Easter is every year is a cakewalk compared to setting aside time for dear ol' dad.

So it was that Arbour awoke at 8am on Sunday to pour a tasty coffee, and get to setting out the batting order and defence for the Falcons' two games later on that evening. (Who are we kidding? There's no way Mike was awake at 8am on a Sunday, but I digress). At the same time, homes all over Durham Region were stirring, wives and children rubbing the sleep from their eyes and looking at the calendar on the kitchen wall to discover HOLY SHIT IT'S FATHER'S DAY TODAY WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING.

At 8am on Sunday, the Falcons not only had enough players to play their upcoming games later that day, but they had enough that one player could sit on the bench each inning. A fitting rest for any dad. By 10am, however, Arbour was spamming the WMSPL equivalent of Craigslist looking for a spare body just so we wouldn't default.

With the help of Glorious Dan from Inglorious Batters, the Falcons were able to take the field for their 8pm game versus Triple Play, but still not have enough bodies that they didn't have to beg the opposition for a catcher.

The Falcons went down in order in the top of the first inning, almost as if SLF had written the lineup. They only sent 5 batters to the plate in the second, and by the top of the third, they were staring down the barrel of a 6-0 deficit. It got worse from there.

Glorious Dan led off the top of the third with a single, and was eventually cashed by a Barry Guerrero Jr single. A pathetic display that ended appropriately with an SLF FK. Triple Play responded to that outburst with a MAX6, and led 12-1 after three innings.

The Falcons bats didn't even really show up until the top of the seventh inning, when they were already down 18-4. The Falcons had seven hits and put up six runs, but that was only good enough to lose by eight.

Game Notes: Homie's scorecard notes: MIKE [Poutine] WAS EARLY *THAT'S SHOCKING*, and she isn't wrong... A tip of the hat to Triple Play's catcher playing for the Falcons making the catch on Cowboy's bullet from left-centrefield to put out his own teammate at home... Not sure how we're going to keep track of this, but we're now counting whether Miner Leaguer scores more runs for Shohei -- thanks to the league's bionic pitcher rule where you can sub out the pitcher with two out without burning a courtesy runner, as long as they have protective equipment to don -- than Shohei scores for himself... It deserves a mention that in the top of the fourth inning, Cowboy hit an inside-the-bigtop-run-home, the Little League-est Little League home run you've ever seen, and a perfect example of why the WMSPL doesn't count inside-the-parkers on the home run leaderboard tally anymore. But it counts in our books!

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Miner Leaguer, SLF
3B: Barry Guerrero Jr
HR: Cowboy
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Barry Guerrero Jr (3), Shohei (2), Cowboy (2), Miner Leaguer (2), SLF

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: None

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 45

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K2 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 2 (10% FULL)

Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

Wednesday 9:30PM June 11th, 2025

Wednesday night was all business, as the Falcons rode an early wave of runs and topped by a Dunner cycle to beat Surge, 23-7.

No need for a play-by-play on this one. The visitors scored early and often, 5 of the 7 Surge runs came courtesy of a couple of bombs to the playground, and somehow 7 innings got played with a bonus 20 minutes to spare.

GAME NOTES: Dunner filled the stat sheet, resetting the cycle clock and, being the absolute team player that he is, added a delicious foul K pizza donation to the team fund… Dunner would have had more XBHs if it weren’t for some station-to-station work in the last two innings… in the 7th, with the team also adopting a first-pitch-swing-so-we-can-go-home-faster plan, Shohei apparently didn’t get the memo and, inexplicably, took a walk. The baseball Gods said nope, Million Dollar Bill hit a liner to 2nd for an out and Shohei got picked off at first, but not before arguing with the ump while UP 20 RUNS. If the umpy threw Shohei out, the Falcons would not have heard from all the laughing in the dugout. Beatty politely told Shohei Bruce Wayne to get back to the dugout, put his Batman gear on and live to fight injustice another day… On that note, handing MDB a pizza fine for hitting into a DP when this one was on Shohei seems especially cruel… Barry Guerrero Jr and DC stayed hot, batting 1.000... Walk-up music innovation alert: Surge mixed in some tunes with pre-recorded "Now batting, #19, so-and-so" and we are here for it... Welcome back outfielders! Cowboy and Miner Leaguer (who, to be fair, did show up on the weekend) had multiple highlight reel full sprint catches… Dr. J climbed half a pizza box to catch a mid-air liner up the middle… speaking of pizza, I think we earned another large 3-topping tonight! Good job fellas!

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: DC (2), Grahambo (2), Dunner, Barry Guerrero Jr, Cowboy
3B: Dunner, Miner Leaguer
HR: Dunner, Beatty
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Dunner (5), DC (4), Beatty (4), Barry Guerrero Jr (3), Grahambo (3), Cowboy, Million Dollar Bill, Shohei, Dr J

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: None

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: ?

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K1 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 0 (0% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

Sunday 6:30PM June 8th, 2025

In an incredibly close back end of a Sunday doubleheader, the Falcons came up just short against The Crew, losing 10-9.

In the 1st, the makeshift Falcons D held The Crew to a doughnut, and Poutine cashed Barry Guerrero Jr with a single in the bottom half to stake the home side to an early 1-0 lead. The Crew held the Falcons to their own doughnuts in the 2nd and 3rd, and answered with 3 runs of their own to make it 3-1.

In the 4th, the visitors tried to blow this one open, turning up the walk-up volume and piling on 5 runs. The Falcons looked like they were done, facing an 8-1 deficit against WMSPL’s top team.

Someone must have saged the bats because the Falcons answered right back, hitting 5 singles and 2 doubles without recording an out for a MAX6 and making it an 8-7 game. Both teams traded a single run in the 5th and doughnuts in the 6th, with The Crew clinging to a 9-8 lead heading into the 7th.

The Crew launched a late solo HR to give themselves a 2-run cushion. The Falcons said a little Sunday prayer before getting to work one last time—with one out, Miner Leaguer, Million Dollar Bill and Shohei all singled to score one. Dr. J flied out to CF and earned boos from his loved ones for the second out before Teets hit a clutch single to load the bases.

That set the stage for Handsome Jer: down one, two out, the bases loaded and a golden opportunity to cash the Falcons hopes of actually winning a game with this ragtag defensive lineup. Jer let one strike go by before belting a pitch deep to CF. The wind wasn’t gonna help this one though as it stayed in the park and was snagged for out #3, sending The Crew home with the slimmest of wins.

Game Notes: While there was no joy in Mudville, Mighty Casey Handsome Jer has nothing to hang his head about, as the Falcons have been riding his bat and glove to wins all year… Shohei also deserves credit for putting his Doctor Strange hat on, looking at all of the possible combinations of our 6 regular infielders + 2 outfielder group, and crafting a lineup that put us in position to win both games… having said that, the Falcons still outdid themselves in game 2 on Sunday, only sending 37 guys to the plate and finishing this one in record time... with pizza fines staying at a record low pace, hopefully everyone's ok with sharing a couple medium pies when we go to cash that in.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Barry Guerrero Jr (2), Shohei
3B: None
HR: None
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Arbour (3), Barry Guerrero Jr (2), Teets, Handsome Jer, Poutine, Dr J

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: None

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: ?

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K1 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 2 (10% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

Sunday 5:00PM June 8th, 2025

What do you get when 5 of your regular OFs sign out of a Sunday doubleheader? Ken Griffey Jr Presents Major League Baseball for the SNES would tell you that playing too many players out of position does not result in anything good, but the Falcons were actually in this game against the Isotopes up until the very end!

The Isotopes plated 2 in the first before the SLF-taint-free lineup went to work: Handsome Jer doubled, Barry Guerrero Jr singled and Grahambo brought the Falcons first run home with a two-bagger of his own. Poutine and Miner Leaguer followed with back-to-back sac flies to give the home side an early 3-2 lead.

In the top of the 3rd, the Isotopes tied the game at 4. Poutine led the bottom half with a double before Miner Leaguer and Million Dollar Bill both flied out. Shohei singled to bring Poutine home, and then invoked the “There’s 2 outs and I’ve got Robocop pitching gear to put on so someone sub in” rule, so Miner Leaguer pinch ran for free. Dr. J hit one to the OF and Miner Leaguer did his thing, scoring all the way from first and forcing the 3rd baseman to field the relay home, giving Dr. J his first extra base hit of the season (a triple!).

Sadly, that was the last of the Falcons lead. A monster HR by Justin to deep CF capped off a 5-run 4th for the Isotopes, and then Henry hit another HR in the 6th as they piled on insurance runs that paid dividends, as the Falcons chipped away at their lead but fell short, 15-10.

Game Notes: The corner OFs would tell you they were way out of their comfort zones, but Barry Guerrero Jr and Grahambo played just about perfect shagging fly balls all day… as did Teets, turning back the clock and stretching to make a few plays at 1B… Poutine’s incredible 6-game 1.000 batting avg streak came to an end, going a lowly 2 for 3 with a SF… for a 9-man lineup, logging only 39 ABs is an incredibly gloomy feat.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Handsome Jer (2), Million Dollar Bill, Grahambo, Poutine, Barry Guerrero Jr
3B: Dr J
HR: None
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Barry Guerrero Jr (3), Poutine (2), Miner Leaguer (2), Shohei, Grahambo, Dr J

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: None

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: ?

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K1 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 0 (0% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

Friday 9:30PM June 6th, 2025

Things labelled “High Risk” last night:

1. Air Quality - The Weather app said this is either because of wildfires, or the stench of 8 teams of sweaty dudes playing a full Friday night schedule

2. The infield - Bad hops left Grahambo and Dr J with new lumps that Poutine will inevitably mistake for implants, and this will make him excited

3. Putting Poutine anywhere in the batting order that’s not last - The man deserves to hit cleanup, but his 9:45pm arrival dictates otherwise

A Falcons-Coulas matchup is always a good time and, while the Falcons continued their deserved streak of having no loved ones in attendance, Coulas certainly brought it—spouses, kids and walk-up music (thanks for normalizing this, Crew!).

Handsome Jer led off with a single, and Dunner and DC followed suit for the first run of the night. Million Dollar Bill and Dr J cashed 2 more and the Falcons had an early 3-0 lead. Coulas responded with a 2-run moonshot to RCF to cut the lead to one.

In the 3rd, the Falcons scored one before loading the bases for Poutine, who promptly launched a no-doubt grand slam into the trees in RF. Handsome Jer singled and Grahambo, not to be undone, smashed a 1-run Scotty over the LF fence for a MAX6.

Coulas chipped away in every inning but the Falcons added 5 late insurance runs in the sixth to win 21-11.

GAME NOTES: Beatty smoked his first dinger of the year that was ruled fair after a lengthy review (everyone saying “yep that looked good”)… Miner Leaguer’s first triple of 2025 ties him with Cowboy (!) and one behind team leads Handsome Jer and Dunner… hate to jinx this but is there a hotter bat in the league right now than Poutine? Dude is batting 1.000 over the past 6 games despite not being able to tell the time… DC also heating up, going 5-5.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Grahambo, Million Dollar Bill, Poutine
3B: Miner Leaguer, Dunner
HR: Beatty, Poutine, Grahambo
HR OUTS: None
RBI: Poutine (6!!), Dunner (3), Grahambo (3), DC (2), Beatty (2), Shohei (2), Miner Leaguer, Million Dollar Bill, Dr J

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: Grahambo

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: ?

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K2 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 0 (0% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

Monday 8:00PM June 2nd, 2025

Barry Guerrero Jr's sixth inning grand slam was the difference as the Falcons held on -- barely -- to a 15-14 victory over Hanet on Monday night.

Some would call it slo-pitch, but boredom was the name of the game in the first inning as both teams put up delicious doughnuts, sending seven batters to the plate for six outs. In the top of the second, the Falcons got something going. Dunner led off with a two-bagger, and after a flyout by Million Dollar Bill, they loaded the bases with nothing but patience. Two consecutive walks to Shohei and Dr J loaded them up for SLF, who lined a single to left to score two. Teets followed with a single to score one, and Poutine (who arrived eventually) followed with his own RBI single. After a Cowboy single that didn't score squat, Handsome Jer cashed a duck with a single to load the bases. Barry Guerrero ended the MAX6 effort with a ground ball to second, who couldn't make the out at home to score the last run of the inning. The Falcons big ol' D shut down Hanet in the bottom of the inning to take a 6-0 lead to the third.

In that third inning, Dunner singled, then scored when Million Dollar Bill hit a "double", which should have been scored a fielder's choice. Billy hit a grounder to short, which was fielded cleanly and as the shortstop was about to throw Billy out at first, someone told him to go to two instead. He did, but sailed the throw into right field where it just sat there. Dunner, safe at second on the error, advanced all the way home. Billy moved up to second, and that was the end of the excitement for the blue side of the third. Hanet, clearly frustrated, used their half of the third to put up a five-spot, highlighted by Lars' 3-run dinger. After 3, the Falcons held a slim 7-5 lead.

In the fourth, Poutine was all of the offence for the Falcons. In almost all situations in all of life, Poutine is almost all of the offence. Just ask any woman. Hanet failed to score in the bottom of the fourth.

They did tie the game, however, in the bottom of the fifth inning, scoring three, two of which were scored on a sacrifice fly. A two run sac fly would be notable almost any other year except the Falcons have allowed a 3-run sac fly THIS SEASON.

Finally, in the sixth, the SLF-tainted line up showed up. Better late than never. Six straight singles to open the frame climaxed with Barry Guerrero Jr's two-strike oppo-taco wall scraper grand slam. In all, the Falcons put up 7 runs with the time limit looming. All the Falcons had to do was put away Hanet, with the bottom of their line up coming up, in short order to preserve the victory.

Tell me if you've heard this one before...

Hanet's number 7 hitter led off the inning with a double. He was followed by two straight singles before WMSPL 36-year vet John Feret popped into an infield fly for the first out. Alex hit a single to turn the line up over, and dark clouds formed over the Falcons' lead. Kevin singled, scoring one. Adam singled, cashing two more. Down two with two on, up came Lars. Discussions happened about using the rare Regular Season IBB to keep Lars' dangerous bat off the ball, but were eventually scrapped... for two pitches. After going down 2-0, Shohei decided not to tempt fate, and put Lars on. It turned out to be a shrewd decision. Instead of Lars jacking the go ahead bomb, Hanet scored two more on a fielder's choice and a single, but failed to complete the comeback. Sphincters audibly unclenched.

GAME NOTES: There was cause for concern in the fourth inning, as some street toughs, riding their various electrically motivated 2-wheeled means of transport, cheered (if halfheartedly) for Poutine's home run, then FOLLOWED HIM TO THE FOOTBALL FIELD as an unnecessary escort to retrieve his home run ball. Poutine declined their requests to autograph the ball, and later explained that they were just some young men looking for a homeless man to beat up. Once Pou explained that he did, in fact, have a home with a wife and kids, they left him alone... Pou's home run put him into a tie on the Falcons home run list with notable sluggers Shohei, SLF, Million Dollar Bill, Cowboy, and one ahead of Beatty *DUCKS*... According to the NSA rulebook, Rule 8, Sec 8(j): [THE BASERUNNER IS OUT:] when a baserunner is struck with a fair-batted ball in fair territory while OFF BASE (emphasis mine) and before it passes an infielder, excluding the pitcher... So Poutine was right, but he would make a better case if his hand wasn't down his pants while making it.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Dunner, Million Dollar Bill, Handsome Jer
3B: None
HR: Poutine, Barry Guerrero Jr
HR OUTS: None
RBI: Barry Guerrero Jr (5), Poutine (3), Handsome Jer (2), SLF (2), Teets (2), Million Dollar Bill

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: None

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 39

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K1 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 5 (25% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights