Our Next Game

Friday, July 12th

Time: 8:00 PM
Opponent: vs. Broadway
Diamond: K2
Weather:

The Falcons were proudly sponsored by:

If you're a local business looking to sponsor a team of men who love the sport of baseball (but are too old to remember why), please apply within.


CONGRATULATIONS, IRON BILLY!

Bill (190 straight games attended, from August 1, 2017 to July 14, 2023) is now the Falcons' all-time iron man, passing retired "Iron" Mike Murphy's 160 consecutive game streak on August 7, 2022!


FALCONS' FEAT WATCH ๐Ÿ‘€
๐Ÿคก Mediocrity

The last time Poutine's batting average was under the Slo-Pitch Mendoza Line was May 31, 2024.

๐Ÿšฒ Cycle

The last time a Falcon hit for the cycle was Grahambo on May 28, 2024.

๐Ÿ’ช Two Home Runs In One Inning

The last time a Falcon hit two home runs in one inning was August 7, 2022.

๐Ÿƒโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ’จ Two Triples In One Inning

The last time a Falcon hit two triples in one inning was August 27, 2023, when Dr J did the deed with the first two triples of his career!

๐Ÿป Free Beer

It's been since May 28, 2024.


Be sure to check out our ๐Ÿ›Hall of Fame๐Ÿ› page and re-live past Falcons glory days on our ๐Ÿ†Accolades๐Ÿ† page.

Falcons News

assignment We Suck Again
Sunday 6:30PM July 7th, 2024
The Falcons Sunday 6:30pm nightcap saw the Isotopes visit K1, with the home team hoping to come away from this Sunday with at least a 1-1 split.

The Isotopes plated 3 in the 1st behind a few doubles and a single. The Falcons would not exactly answer back with Flash and Beatty RBI singles. Isotopes 3-2 after one.

After a delicious donut top 2, the Falcons capitalized and put up... a not so delicious donut. Shit. Well at least we put up a max 6 the next inning, after an Isotopes 4 spot top of 3. Bottom 3 saw a Grahambo two RBI double, a DC RBI triple, a Beatty RBI single, and a Dr. J two RBI single. Falcons up 8-7 after three.

The next three innings saw Isotopes put up 13, and the Falcons only 1 run in the next two, down 20-9 entering the bottom of the 6th. What time is it? Time for a big late inning Falcons rally! Two-RBI singles from Grahambo and Beatty, and RBI singles from Flash, Dr. J and Grandpa Jr. would plate 7. That was all the offense the Falcons could muster. Good guys lose 20-16.

NOTES:
- Is it just me or is Mitch annoyingly good? He went 5 for 5 with three doubles and four runs.

Boxscore:

Team 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Final
Isotopes 3 0 4 3 7 3 0 20
Falcons 2 0 6 1 0 7 0 16

Statistical Highlights

HR
info_outline
None
3B
info_outline
arrow_rightDavid:1
2B
info_outline
None
RBI
info_outline
arrow_rightGraham:4
At The Plate
info_outline
arrow_rightMichael:3 for 4
arrow_rightSteve:3 for 4
arrow_rightGraham:3 for 4
arrow_rightRyan:3 for 4
arrow_rightJerome:3 for 4
Team Fines
info_outline
arrow_rightMike:  $5 for SR3B $5
arrow_rightDavid:  $5 for SR3B $5
arrow_rightPaul:  $5 for GIDP $5
The team sincerely thanks you for your contributions!🤑
Tags: None
Posted on: Monday July 8th, 2024 at 7:43PM
assignment At least I didn't give up a HR to Duran
Sunday 5:00PM July 7th, 2024
Sunday's 5pm K1 matchup pitted the 1st place hated Storm against the 4th place beloved Falcons. Would the Falcons hand Storm their 2nd loss of the season? Would the Falcons match their 30 run offensive output from their last game? Would Labrecque behave with Duran and Jerome's kids in attendance? No, no and no.

Perhaps it was an omen of things to come when Flash realized 20 minutes before gametime that he didn't have his jersey or baseball pants. Oh well, his Sunday best bbq outfit will have to do.

What's the deal with the new Storm jerseys, am I right? These old ones were definitely much nicer.

The top of the first inning saw the visiting Storm put up a 3 spot. The Falcons did not exactly match with Beatty, Cowboy and Grahambo singles and a DC RBI sac fly. 3-1 bad guys after 1.

After holding Storm to a delicious donut in the 2nd, the Falcons got to work. Singles from Beatty, Flash and Jerome, RBI doubles from New Grandpa, The Taxman, and Barry Guerrero Jr, and a Grahambo RBI single would plate 5. DC stepped up to the plate with a runner on, and cranked one over the outfield fence for a 2 run HR that only scored one. Nice "Scotty", DC! Max 6 from the good guys, Falcons up 7-3.

Was that another delicious donut top of 3? Oops no that's a max-6 for Storm, that 6 on the scoresheet really looked like a 0. The Falcons answered with... shit a not so delicious donut of their own. 9-7 Storm after three.

Storm put up a 3 spot in the fourth, with the Falcons plating two behind a Cowboy RBI triple (it's about time, Steve!) and a Barry RBI single.

After a Storm 2 run 5th inning, the Falcons put up another not so delicious donuts. What happened to our bats, boys? I have no idea.

Who cares what happened the rest of the way? It's a dumb game anyways, right Grahambo? Storm would total another 5 in the 5th and 6th. Falcons would plate another 2 runs in both innings, behind a Barry RBI single in the 5th, and a Beatty RBI double in the 7th.

Storm win 19-11.

NOTES:
- Refresher: a "Scotty" is a HR where all the runs don't count of the max 6 limit; a "Grahambo" is a HR out since we're already at plus 3 HRs.
- I was going to lament how Beatty got on base four times and we couldn't send him home, but if I recall correctly did Mills throw him out at second after a Flash single to right center field? Don't feel bad Beatty, Mills has done that to me too!

Boxscore:

Team 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Final
Storm 3 0 6 3 2 4 1 19
Falcons 1 6 0 2 0 1 1 11

Statistical Highlights

HR
info_outline
arrow_rightDavid:1
3B
info_outline
arrow_rightSteve:1
2B
info_outline
arrow_rightRyan:2
RBI
info_outline
None
At The Plate
info_outline
arrow_rightRyan:🔥 4 for 4
arrow_rightSteve:3 for 4
arrow_rightBarry:3 for 4
Team Fines
info_outline
arrow_rightDavid:  $5 for FK $5
The team sincerely thanks you for your contributions!🤑
Tags: None
Posted on: Monday July 8th, 2024 at 5:58PM
assignment This Should Help Our Run Differential
Tuesday 9:30PM July 2nd, 2024
Tuesday's late night matchup at K2 pitted the 4th place VP division A's against the 4th place President's division (yikes!) Falcons. Well, our +82 run differential is 2nd best in the league so we can tell ourselves we're better than our record, right?

Top of 1st saw the A's get right down to business and plate 3, after Shohei couldn't come anywhere near the plate during warmups. Thankfully the Falcons offence also got right down to business with alternating doubles and singles from Cowboy, More Handsome Jer, Grahambo and DC. A Poutine sac fly, a Miner Leaguer double, and singles from Dunner and Shohei meant a 6-3 Falcons lead after 1.

Despite being afraid to pitch to and walking fearsome cleanup hitter Doug in the top of the 2nd, Shohei settled down and the Falcons served up a delicious donut. A Grandpa Jr double and RBI from Cowboy was all the offense we'd see that inning, 7-3 Falcons.

Another delicious donut from the Falcons D was enjoyed in the top of the 3rd. Singles from Labrecque, Dunner, Shohei and Dr. J, and a second straight double from New Grandpa Bill put up 3 runs for the home team, 10-3 after three.

Shohei and the Falcons D served up their third straight delicious donut in the 4th. (Crave donuts should totally sponsor us, right?!). Cowboy led off with a double, More Likable Jer hit an RBI single, and our Fearless Leader Grahambo somehow SR3B'd with a single. Poutine cashed two with a double, Miner Leaguer singled, Sean cashed one with a double and Shohei two. That's a max 6 thank you very much, Falcons up 16-3.

The A's still had a pulse putting up a two spot in the top of the 5th. No delicious donuts for you!

via GIPHY



Dr. J got the party started bottom 5 with a single, New Grandpa doubled, Steve "I forgot how to hit a triple" doubled, before Romancer of Soccer Moms Jer and Grahambo both RBI singled. Singles from DC, Shohei and Miner Leaguer plated 5. 21-5 Falcons after five.

Another Falcons delicious donut in the 6th. How much do sponsorships cost, old Jer? 5 straight singles from the Falcons led off the 6th, with Cowboy and Taxman each plating two runs. Grahambo RBI singled, DC walked with the bases loaded, Labrecque cashed two with a single, and Chad RBI singled. Jerome and Grandpa Bill each knocked in a run, the Taxman knocked in two with a double, and Cowboy cashed one. New Jer decided he wanted to be the first out, and the last out of the inning. Good thing he does better with the local soccer moms! Falcons plate 13 in the inning. With Shohei giving up two in the final frame, Falcons win 34-5.

- Attaboy Jerome going 5 for 5
- Labrecque with 7 RBI, Tabarnak!

Boxscore:

Team 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Final
A's 3 0 0 0 2 0 1 6
Falcons 6 1 3 6 5 13 0 34

Statistical Highlights

HR
info_outline
None
3B
info_outline
None
2B
info_outline
arrow_rightBill:2
arrow_rightSteve:2
RBI
info_outline
arrow_rightMike:🔥 7
arrow_rightSteve:4
At The Plate
info_outline
arrow_rightJerome:🔥 5 for 5
arrow_rightSteve:5 for 6
arrow_rightMike:🔥 4 for 4 + SF
arrow_rightChad:4 for 5
arrow_rightBill:4 for 5
arrow_rightGraham:4 for 5
arrow_rightMichael:4 for 5
arrow_rightSean:4 for 5
Team Fines
info_outline
arrow_rightJeremy:  $5 for SR3B $5
arrow_rightGraham:  $5 for SR3B $5
arrow_rightMichael:  $5 for SR3B $5
arrow_rightSean:  $5 for FK $5
arrow_rightDavid:  $5 for FK $5
The team sincerely thanks you for your contributions!🤑
Tags: None
Posted on: Thursday July 4th, 2024 at 6:17AM
assignment Back and Forth, Back and Forth, BACK and FORTH ๐Ÿคฎ
Friday 9:30PM June 21st, 2024
Is any other team's schedule like this? For the third time this season, the Falcons wrapped up a doubleheader that began by playing The Crew with a game against Triple Play. The Falcons were able to win the first two of those nightcaps, but dropped this one 17-15 in what was a really great game.

The big question: What was up with Jose? Added to Triple Play's lineup right at game time, Jose didn't even take the field defensively until the fifth inning, and yes we were watching. More out of curiosity than anything, but seriously: When's the last time a team didn't send someone out for their mandatory two innings on defence? It didn't happen here, as Jose caught the top of the seventh, but still. Anyway, Jose went three for three with three singles, which is down from his usual tally of a five for five game with seven home runs. This is why there should be mandatory post game scrums with both team reps. People reading this have no right to know, but want that tea spilt anyway!

A string of hits scored three for the visiting Falcons in the top of the first that could have been more if Flash hadn't SR3B'd. Triple Play answered with two of their own to keep it close after one.

In the second, the Falcon bats kept nibbling with singles and a double, and put up three more. Triple Play responded in-kind, and trailed by one again at the end of the inning.

Triple Play took the lead in the third, stringing together a bunch of singles after holding the Falcons to nothing, and after three, led 8-6.

Cowboy wasn't going to take this lying down, and led off the top of the fourth with his too-many-consonant-in-a-row twelfth three-bagger of the season. It isn't even July yet. Handsome Jer scored Cowboy immediately with a single, and a few hits later the Falcons had put up four to take a 10-8 lead, which would be short-lived. Back roared Triple Play: Two singles and a walk loaded the bases for Danny, whose double cleared them. Matt drove Danny in with a triple that probably should have been a double, that Homie only drew as a single. After four, the back-and-forth affair showed Triple Play up 12-10.

If you're prone to seasickness, you'd have been throwing up with all this listing side to side. The Falcons took the lead right back in the top of the fifth, scoring three on a bunch of seeing-eye singles. If you'd already unloaded dinner on that, you're left with dry-heaves in the bottom half when Triple Play took the lead right back with three of their own.

Four singles produced two runs for the visitors to tie it up in the top of the sixth, only for Triple Play to immediately re-take the lead when Matt led off with an inside the park home run (joke's on Matt, that doesn't count in the league tally, ANOTHER stupid rule that needs retraction, ANOTHER digression, SEE PREVIOUS RECAP). Triple Play added another insurance run with a couple hits and a fielder's choice. In the seventh, the Falcons could only manage a whimper, and then it was sad beer time because all the burnt ends were already gone.

Game Notes: Another big thanks to Doug for coming out on short notice.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Handsome Jer (2), Poutine
3B: Cowboy
HR: None
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Goliath (4), Million Dollar Bill (3), Handsome Jer (3), Poutine (2), Cowboy, Taxman, SLF (Sr?)

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: None

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 42

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K1 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 2 (10% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

Follow the @ShittyFalcons on X (Seriously)


SHARE!

XEET this recap to your followers.

SHARE this story on Facebook with all your friends!

EMAIL this story to your friends and non-social-media-conscious family to read of your exploits!

Boxscore:

Team 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Final
Falcons 3 3 0 4 3 2 0 15
Triple Play 2 3 3 4 3 2 X 17

Statistical Highlights

HR
info_outline
None
3B
info_outline
arrow_rightSteve:1
2B
info_outline
arrow_rightJeremy:2
RBI
info_outline
arrow_rightDavid:4
At The Plate
info_outline
arrow_rightPaul:3 for 4 + BB
Team Fines
info_outline
arrow_rightMichael:  $5 for SR3B $5
The team sincerely thanks you for your contributions!🤑
Tags: loss, triple play
Posted on: Monday June 24th, 2024 at 9:14AM
assignment Crew Cut
Friday 8:00PM June 21st, 2024
The Falcons dropped the last of their games versus The Crew this season in a 13-5 loss that left the season series in a split.

Running with a short bench to begin the game, and emergency callup Doug Stanfield yet to arrive due to late notice, the Falcons were forced to tell Teets he would have to cover home in the interim due to a stupid rule that requires an opposing team supplied catcher to sit on his thumb during gameplay, potentially against his wishes. Bitter? Maybe? It's dumb. Change it. Get your own guys out, then laugh manically. If they get pissy, laugh harder and remind them what, exactly, they're getting pissy about. Jeez.

I digress. Already.

So anyway what happened? Let's see... Legs, the side-dish formerly known as Poutine, was running late and arrived just in time to take his spot in left field, but not in time to actually put on pants. If the thought of Mike playing ball in his gitch makes you want to wretch, you're welcome. For the record, he was wearing shorts, thank all that is good and holy.

The Falcons couldn't really get anything going with the bats in this game, a trend in recent games against The Crew this season. A couple games ago, five runs was enough to beat them. In this game, not so much. The Falcons put up two in the first, and that's the biggest single inning output they'd have for the whole game. Not a winning formula.

Two Legs ("Poutine") Duncans sandwiched three innings worth of doughnuts. A three-doughnut sandwich with a side of poutine sounds delicious, but pales in comparison to Chef Goliath's treat of burnt ends enjoyed by the team pre- and post-game.

Big credit to The Crew's pitcher and his consistent pitch sequence of: 4-seam "fastball", knuckler, then some kind of gyro-ball-esque thing that would make Daisuke Matsuzaka proud that kept a lid on any potential Falcons offence.

The Falcons actually led in this game until the bottom of the third inning, and kept it close until the wheels fell off in the fifth.

Game Notes: Big thanks to the A's Doug for coming out on really short notice.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Cowboy, SLF
3B: Handsome Jer
HR: Two-Duncan Poutine Legs
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Legs (2), Flash, Goliath, Handsome Jer

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: None

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 40

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K2 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 2 (10% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

Follow the @ShittyFalcons on X (Seriously)


SHARE!

XEET this recap to your followers.

SHARE this story on Facebook with all your friends!

EMAIL this story to your friends and non-social-media-conscious family to read of your exploits!

Boxscore:

Team 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Final
Falcons 2 1 0 0 0 1 1 5
The Crew 0 2 2 0 4 5 X 13

Statistical Highlights

HR
info_outline
arrow_rightMike:2
3B
info_outline
arrow_rightJeremy:1
2B
info_outline
None
RBI
info_outline
None
At The Plate
info_outline
arrow_rightMichael:3 for 4
arrow_rightJeremy:3 for 4
arrow_rightPaul:3 for 4
Team Fines
info_outline
arrow_rightMichael:  $5 for SR3B + $5 for GIDP $10
arrow_rightDavid:  $5 for SR3B $5
arrow_rightBill:  $5 for GIDP $5
arrow_rightAshley:  $5 for GIDP $5
The team sincerely thanks you for your contributions!🤑
Tags: loss, the crew, legs
Posted on: Monday June 24th, 2024 at 8:47AM