The emerging trend this week is that merely splitting your doubleheader isn't going to gain you any ground, as the stronger teams in the league rip off two-game winning streaks with the regularity of a high-fibre diet.

#1. SURGE (TIE)
(6-2-0 Overall; 1st in Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 1)

Look who's kept their top spot!?! Surge is 5-1 in their last six, that single loss coming on Sunday in a split of their doubleheader against The Crew. If they can keep this up, they'll taste the President's Division in 2022 for the first time since... well, the league's website doesn't have records that go back that far. Ya gotta figure the 20th century, if ever.

#1. BROADWAY (TIE)
(7-2-0 Overall; 1st in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 4)

Huge jump for Broadway this week, and well earned, going 4-0. They swept their doubleheaders against Hanet and an extremely short Falcons squad, and despite commencing the station-to-station strategy in what seemed like the second inning of both Falcons games, demolished them in both. Their +37 run differential leads the President's Division. If they can at least split next Wednesday's doubleheader against the A's, an easy win in a cupcake matchup against the Falcons next Friday should keep them at the top of the rankings.

#3. A'S
(7-3-0 Overall; 2nd in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 2)

The A's drop a spot in the rankings, not because their last week was bad (they split versus Storm), but because Broadway was better. Next week's games against Broadway could send them back up to the number two spot, or if they drop a number two in those games it could mean a precipitous drop.

#4. THE CREW
(6-3-0 Overall; 2nd in Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 6)

A three-game winning streak jumps The Crew two spots, and thanks to a double default by The Buellers, into 2nd place in the division. At +53, they also hold the biggest run differential in the Vice President's Division. But since, historically, they're a .500 team, you can almost bet that their 3-win, 3-loss, 3-win pattern will continue.

#5. THE BUELLERS
(5-4-0 Overall; 3rd Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 4)

An unfortunate double-default on Tuesday drops The Buellers down a spot, but that doesn't mean they aren't a force when they show up. I mean, I guess they are. My team never plays their team, which based on the results this season is a God-send.

#6. STORM
(5-5-0 Overall; 3rd in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 5)

Storm, like the A's, fall a spot this week not because they played poorly but because other teams played better. More, uh, powerfully, you might say. Storm continues to have medical personnel on stand-by, you know, just in case.

#7. TRIPLE PLAY
(3-5-0; 4th in Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 8)

Conversely, Triple Play JUMPED a spot thanks to a .500 record earned in a split against The Buellers. But honestly, that's because the rest of the league is an uncontrollable dumpster fire.

#8. HANET PLASTICS
(2-6-0 Overall; 4th in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 7)

Hanet lost both ends of their doubleheader against #1 Broadway on Sunday, and have now lost 4 in a row. Though a mid-season slump is typical for Hanet until the Minor Baseball season concludes, their .250 winning percentage is not. They'll be back for the playoff tournament, you can be sure.

#9. FALCONS
(2-7-0 Overall; Last in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 9)

The Falcons couldn't even pull together six regular members to play game one against Broadway on Tuesday, and the results showed. SLF's mid-game arrival sparked a 4-run inning to bring the Falcons total to... four. They didn't score again. Game two was better, they scored 19 runs! The Falcons also allowed THIRTY ONE runs, sad trombone. If it weren't for Coulas, the Falcons would rank twelfth in a ten-team league.

#10. COULAS BONE CRUSHERS
(1-9-0 Overall; 5th in Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 10)

Coulas scored 18 runs! ... over two games. That's not exactly winning slo-pitch.

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The Falcons lost their unprecedented seventh straight game, this time losing 31-19 to Broadway in the curtain-closer of Tuesday's doubleheader on K2.

Ten Falcons regulars signed out for Tuesday's early game, leaving the remainder with little hope of success. Such is the life of beer-league ball, sometimes injuries and holidays line up in a perfect storm. Fortunately, the Falcons were able to pick up Mike from Triple Play and two-time reigning WMSPL MVP Luige from the A's. Good ol' Doug from the A's, who I guess lives at the park, saved the Falcons' bacon by being present and in a generic uniform and ready to play. A good and proper spanking was game one's result. SLF's arrival for game 2 did little to improve the Falcons' fortunes, though the Falcons were at least able to make a game of it.

Highlights of this game were the Falcons' first three-bagger of the season, courtesy of The Mattural. Tuesday also announced the arrival of New Mike's bat. He hit his first two doubles of the season and had 4 RBI in the nightcap.

Lowlights were plentiful, and will be kept private in respect of the victims, except for the part where SLF dropped a pop-up which would have been the third out, and the next batter crushed a grand slam.

Game notes: Luige crushed two dingers, and collected 8 RBI... The Falcons now sit at the bottom of the President's division. They will enjoy a brief respite from playing ball until Friday August 6th, when they'll face *checks notes*... Goddamn Broadway again? Oh God, we're f***ed.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: New Mike, The Mattural, Poutine
3B: The Mattural
HR: None
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: New Mike (4), The Mattural (3), Million Dollar Bill (2), SLF

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: Luige-New Mike-Broadway Catcher

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 54 (!)

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K2 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 4 (20% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

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Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

... and by the time I got there, the game was pretty much already over. Broadway was ahead by three touchdowns, and the Falcons waved the white flag in the fifth.

Game notes: Big thanks to Dougie Fresh, Mike III, and Luige for suffering through this with the Falcons, and especially to Broadway for leniency in the rules to allow the game to proceed...

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: New Mike
3B: None
HR: None
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: The Mattural (2), Million Dollar Bill, Luige

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: None.

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: ?

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K2 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 4 (20% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

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Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

Here we are, a few weeks into the season. Based on available recaps from teams with websites, injuries are ravaging their way through the league (two out of ten is a viable sample size!). Is it the 20-month layoff between games? Is it the every-day-is-doubleheader-day schedule? Is it that all the players are a couple years older? Is it that everyone is only just now emerging from their basements to see the sun for the first time in forever? Probably a mix of all those things.

#1. SURGE
(5-1-0 Overall; 1st in Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 7)

Well, knock me over with a feather. Building on their all-time high ranking last week, in which they placed seventh, Surge continued their torrid pace sweeping Sunday's doubleheader against Coulas to finish the week at 5-1. After dropping the first game of the season, Surge has now won five in a row and, uh, surged to the top of the VP Division.

#2. A'S
(6-2-0 Overall; 1st in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 6)

The A's won all four games they played this week, sweeping doubleheaders against the Falcons, then Hanet the following day. Racking up a 4-0 week to lead the President's Division should be enough to vault them into first place in these here Power Rankings, shouldn't it? Maybe, but the recent announcement that the A's would be getting new uniforms for what seems like the 6th time in the last 4 years, and that the announcement was that the new duds would be black (joining two other teams in the league, and piggybacking on a trend that began in the early 21st century) knocks them down to second place.

#3. THE BUELLERS
(4-1-0 Overall; 2nd in Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 5)

The bright green Buellers have won four in a row, including Sunday's doubleheader sweep over The Crew. Blinding the other team with their uniforms can't be ruled out as AT LEAST a partial cause. But they definitely get credit for getting jerseys in something other than black.

#4. BROADWAY
(3-2-0 Overall; 2nd in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 1)

Broadway split with Storm on Sunday to stay above .500. They have a very promising-looking date with the ailing Falcons on Tuesday, so the drop to fourth in the rankings may only be a temporary stop.

#5. STORM
(4-4-0 Overall; 3rd President's Division)
(Rank last week: 10)

A 3-1 week dragged Storm out of the Power Rankings basement, and their 4-4 overall record is good enough to put them mid-pack. This, if you were to ask Storm, is a major disappointment. Storm is a perennial powerhouse and has won the President's Division 5 straight years and asks politely for excellence from their players. But they're also, on average, the oldest team in the league by a significant margin. And dynasties don't last forever.

#6. THE CREW
(3-2-0 Overall; 3rd in Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 3)

After a perfect 3-0 start to the season, The Crew got steamrolled by the Bueller bus on Sunday. On the plus side, it seems they got a newer, even louder walk-up music speaker, since it was easily heard on the other diamond when they played on Sunday. As has been mentioned in this space before, The Crew's bringing in of walk up music for their (and sometimes the other teams'!) players is the biggest advancement in fun this league has seen in a really, really long time.

#7. HANET PLASTICS
(2-4-0; 4th in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 2)

A rough week for Hanet, getting swept by a team that needs new uniforms because not enough players own current ones. Hanet, of course, is the BEST outfitted team in the league: their sponsor provides the whole kit and they always look good on game day.

#8. TRIPLE PLAY
(2-4-0 Overall; 4th in Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 9)

Triple play put up a crooked number in the win column with a sweep of Coulas on Tuesday. That's good enough to move them up a spot in the rankings, but a Sunday date with The Buellers may have something to say about that.

#9. FALCONS
(2-5-0 Overall; Last in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 4)

The Falcons can thank the struggling Bone Crushers for keeping them out of last in the rankings. After getting swept twice this week in doubleheaders against the A's and Storm, the Falcons have lost 5 straight and find themselves in the President's Division dungeon. Their -29 run differential is more than seven times worse than the next worst (Hanet, at -4), and again, Coulas (-97) keeps the Falcons out of last. The best news for the Falcons is that they're only seven games into a 24-games season. Plenty of time to improve... they hope.

#10. COULAS BONE CRUSHERS
(1-7-0 Overall; 5th in Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 8)

Like the Falcons, Coulas got their butts handed to them twice this week, going 0-4. Also like the Falcons, they have plenty of time to get the season turned around.

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Despite never having left the diamond after getting blown out in the curtain-raiser of Wednesday's doubleheader against Storm, the Falcons somehow barely showed up for the nightcap, losing 19-5. The loss extends the Falcons' losing streak to five games.

The Falcons won the first inning! After holding Storm to only two runs in the top of the first, Dunner's 3-run shot in the bottom half gave the Falcons their only lead of the night. The lead was short-lived. Storm put up a WMSPL mercy-rule limited six runs in the top of the second, without recording a single out.

The offence for both teams then took a coffee break. Storm put up delicious doughnuts in the third, fourth, and fifth, teasing the Falcons with false hope of snatching victory from the jaws of defeat. But the Falcons could only muster two runs the rest of the way: a single run in the 3rd, and a meaningless run in the seventh after the game was already over.

Game notes: Million Dollar Bill at risk of losing his lead off job, after going 0-for-4... The Falcons have lost five in a row for the first time since 2017, when they also began the season 2-5. After the 2017 season, the Falcons were relegated to the VP Division for 2018.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Dunner (2), Goliath (barely), Poutine
3B: None
HR: Dunner
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Dunner (4), Grahambo

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: Grahambo-The Mattural; Grahambo-Million Dollar Bill


GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K1 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 3 (15% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)


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Statistical Highlights

The Falcons extended their season-high losing streak to four games, losing to a 9-man Storm squad 23-13 in game 1 of Wednesday evening's doubleheader.

There were few positives for the Falcons in this game. A five-run fourth inning highlighted by Poutine's first dinger of the year was one of them. Million Dollar Bill's perfect game at the plate was another. Despite continuing to tempt fate, no one had to call the ambulance. That's about it.

Game notes: Million Dollar Bill showed why he continues to lead off for the Falcons, going 5-for-5... The Falcons have lost 4 in a row for the first time since losing the last four games played in the regular season in September, 2017.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: SLF (2), Dunner
3B: None
HR: Poutine
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: The Mattural (4), Poutine (4), Goliath (2), Grahambo, Dunner, SLF

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: None
PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 48

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K1 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 6 (30% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)


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Statistical Highlights

The A's completed the sweep of the Falcons with a walk-off 11-10 victory in game two of Sunday afternoon's doubleheader.

The Falcons continue to allow SLF to apply his taint to the batting order, and in game 2, the SLF-tainted line up did what an SLF-tainted line up do: The Falcons put up doughnuts in the first 4 innings. A late surge grabbed the lead, but it wasn't enough.

The A's weren't able to score in the bottom of the first, but managed a four-spot in the second. A doughnut in the third, then one in the fourth. A doughnut in the fifth, then four more in the sixth. A pattern had developed! Would it hold?

No.

In the fifth, the Falcons offence finally arrived. They scored the first 6 batters of the inning, put up 7 in total, and took the lead. As noted previously, the A's couldn't score in the bottom of the fifth, and in the top of the sixth the Falcons two-spot put them up 9-5.

The A's were not giving up, however. They scored four, and tied the game at nines going into the seventh.

With two on, and two out, the Mattural's single scored Grahambo to take back the lead. The Falcons would take the slimmest of leads into the bottom of the seventh inning.

The bottom of the A's line up were the stars of this game. Doug, Justin, Larry and George accounted for 8 of the A's runs, including the tying, and winnings runs.

Game notes: With the loss, the Falcons drop below the .500 mark for the first time in over two years... The A's sent 41 batters to the plate in both games... Levi's batting average appears to be tied to the length of his hair. He's hitting .529, ahead of perennial .600 hitters such as Miner Leaguer, Cowboy, SLF and Barry Guerrero Jr... The Falcons have scored 69 runs on the season. Nice.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Cowboy, Levi, Grahambo
3B: None
HR: None
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Goliath (3), Cowboy (2), The Mattural (2), Million Dollar Bill, Grahambo, New Mike

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: None
PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 41

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K1 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 9 (45% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)


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Statistical Highlights

Two big innings sandwiching a quartet of delicious doughnuts gave the A's a 12-10 win over the Falcons in game one of Sunday's early doubleheader.

The good news in this game was that for once, an SLF-tainted line up didn't wait until the fifth inning to arrive. The Falcons scored 5 in the first, and came back with 4 more in the second. The A's responded in-kind in the first inning, but a 9-man Falcons defence was able to hold the A's to a singleton in the second to hold on to the 9-6 lead.

The defence was spectacular in innings 3 through 6. Only 15 A's came to the plate, and the Falcons turned a pair of 1-6-3 twin-killings.

The A's defence was just as effective. After the Falcons scored 4 in the second, they'd only be able to produce a single run the rest of the way. Four hits in the fifth scored one, but that was it.

In the top of the seventh, the offence reappeared, but only for the A's. They scored their first six batters of the inning to re-take the lead. Staring defeat directly in the face in the bottom of the seventh, the Falcons blinked.

Game notes: In today's episode of "Sex with Chad", we try to determine some context of these ACTUAL Miner Leaguer quotes: "I go in ass first, then the foot," followed by "Is six inches too long, or is six inches too short?". Later, Miner Leaguer and Million Dollar Bill were discussing something septic, and it may have been the Falcons offence... A flurry of late sign-outs and a couple no-shows left the Falcons to rely on the A's for a catcher. Thankfully, there were no backstop shenanigans.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Cowboy, Levi, Grahambo, The Mattural, SLF
3B: None
HR: Grahambo, The Mattural
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Grahambo (3), The Mattural (2), SLF (2), Cowboy, Goliath, Levi

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: The Mattural-Grahambo-Levi, The Mattural-Grahambo-Levi

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 41

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K1 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 12 (60% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)


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Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights