The editorial staff here at falconsslopitch.com wishes long time Falcon Sean "Dunner" "Dinner" Dunn a very happy 50th birthday!!

It is no surprise that in Mrs. Dinner's FB/Insta post wishing him a happy birthday that the first thing she mentioned was his photoshop skills... as you can tell from the image above, the quality of the pictures on this website drops off a significant cliff if Dunner's not the one creating them. Readers of this website for the last 15 years have been spoiled.

But, like Mrs Dinner, the team also gets to benefit from Dunner's multitude of other talents. He's the creator and caretaker of this website, spent years organizing the team and also a couple running the league. He's a natural leader, an animated story teller, and a great friend. All the Falcons are better off for knowing him.

Monday 9:30PM August 15th, 2022

The offence eventually showed up for the Falcons to propel them to a 19-13 win over Coulas on Monday night.

Staring a blacked out sign-out sheet in the face, 12th-string coach Dr J crafted his best batting order from the ingredients he had available... 9 Falcons. Fortunately (depending on who you ask), SLF was able to arrive at the very last minute (after Barry, even!) to get the visitors to a nice, round 10 players for this game.

A Beatty blast plated the Falcons' only two runs of the first inning, and Coulas was able to match that total in the bottom half. The teams exchanged delicious doughnuts in the second inning.

In the third, the Falcons bats finally awoke (you know, other than Beatty's). They sent 11 men to the plate, who all reached base. Coulas killed a couple with fielder's choices, but the Falcons put up a MAX6. Undaunted, Coulas answered right away with a 5-spot in the bottom of the third inning and after three, the visitors held a slim one run lead.

The teams diverged after that, with the Falcons bats going silent for a couple innings, but for Duncan by Beatty and an RBI TRIPLE from the now appropriately named Flash (it's acutally Flash's third three-bagger of the season, so that shows how much I pay attention). In the meantime, Coulas methodically chipped away, scored 5 over the fourth and fifth innings and held a two run lead going into the sixth.

And if you've been paying attention AT ALL over the last few years, you'll know this is when the Falcons pull their "Hulk Hogan awakens from the sleeper hold" move. The first 8 Falcons to bat in the top of the sixth inning scored, opening a 6-run lead for the visitors. The Falcons' D held Coulas to only 1 in response over their final two at-bats to win not nearly as comfortably as you might think based on the score.

Game Notes: The win keeps the Falcons a game up on The Crew for the coveted 4th playoff seed, and the questionably beneficial Friday night bye... Two more bombs for Beatty also keeps him in a tie atop the league's home run chart. If he can keep it up, he'd be the first Falcon to lead the league since Goliath in 2011... Long time, no see Mrs. MDB!

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Flash, Beatty, Teets, Million Dollar Bill
3B: Flash
HR: Beatty (2)
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Beatty (4), Poutine (3), Teets (3), Flash (2), Million Dollar Bill (2), Dr J (2), SLF, Ace of Base, Cowboy

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: Flash-Poutine-Beatty to end the game, I think?

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 41

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K1 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: (10% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)


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Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

With only a couple weeks left before the kiddos go back to school, and just a couple more before the end of the WMSPL regular season, the standings are beginning to show the divide between the top and bottom teams, and how that split will affect next season's division alignment. What should not be assumed from this list, however, is how the playoff tournament will go: Every single year, it seems that a team (*cough* HANET *cough*) or two who had been waffling all season shows up to tear through everyone else over that weekend.

#1. A'S
(18-3-1 Overall; 1st in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 3)

The A's remain, as they have for most of the season, in top spot in the President's division, a solid game and a half up on Storm with 10 games to go. On a per game basis, they also have the league's highest run differential. They appear on a solid path towards their second straight President's division championship.

#2. TRIPLE PLAY
(16-6-1 Overall; 1st in Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 4)

Winners of three straight, Triple Play has established themselves as the class of the VP division. Owners of the only winning record in the division, they're well on their way to cashing the $300 VP Division Championship cheque, as they're 6.5 games up on next place Isotopes with only 9 to play.

#3. BROADWAY
(12-9-1 Overall; 5th in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 7)

Coming out of nowhere, Broadway has won four in a row and is poised to climb up the President's division standings if they can keep it going. They're only a game and a half out of 3rd place in the division and a Friday bye in the playoff tournament.

#4. FALCONS
(15-9 Overall; 3rd in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 6)

Late inning rallies have boosted the Falcons' win totals lately. They've won two straight, and it would be 5 straight if they'd been able to finish the come back against Storm on the weekend. The Falcons hold a one game lead on the Crew for the #4 seed in the playoffs with only 8 games left. Will they be able to hold on?

#5. STORM
(18-6 Overall; 2nd in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 2)

After holding off the Falcons to win the early game of their weekend doubleheader, Storm has dropped two in a row by a TOTAL of 4 runs. So no need to jump into the life boats just yet. Storm is only 1.5 games behind the A's for the division lead with 8 to play so anything can happen.

#6. THE CREW
(12-8 Overall; 4th in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 5)

The Crew dropped both ends of their weekend doubleheader, the late game in a rather heartbreaking fashion, allowing 19 runs in the last two innings to the Falcons. Was it because they didn't have the tunes going on Sunday? Discuss.

#7. ISOTOPES
(10-13-1; 2nd in Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 9)

The Isotopes move up two spots in the rankings, perhaps thanks to some missing scores on the league website. As of press time, they held a half-game lead over the Buellers for 2nd in the VP division, but that could change if the rep gets a few free minutes with a computer and decides to use that time less enjoyably than certain other alternatives.

#8. SURGE
(7-15-1 Overall; Tied for 4th in Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 12)

Despite being 2-4 in their last 6 games, Surge takes the #8 spot over Coulas because Coulas is 1-5 in their last 6.

#9. COULAS BONE CRUSHERS
(7-15-1 Overall; Tied for 4th in Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 10)

Coulas holds a spot above the Buellers because they've only lost 1 straight.

#10. THE BUELLERS
(8-12-1 Overall; 3rd in Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 8)

The Buellers drop two spots after losing 4 in a row, and sit only a half-game behind the Isotopes for 2nd place in the VP division with 11 games to go.

#11. HANET PLASTICS
(6-14 Overall; 6th in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 11)

Are you worried about Hanet? Don't be, because I doubt Hanet's worried about Hanet. Their .300 winning percentage and -82 run differential may look under-performing, but last season they went into the playoffs at .292 and -42 and won the whole thing. Amazing what attendance can do.

#12. SURGE
(2-21-1 Overall; 6th Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 1)

After the excitement of their first ever win, the Expos won another by default but things haven't really gone their way since. They've lost 6 in a row and despite having a pretty good offence lately, still sit in last in the league in run differential at -181. They're pretty close to locking up the Horse's Ass trophy for 2022, though that'll mean an extra pick a friend draft pick in 2023.

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Sunday 9:30PM August 7th, 2022

A late Falcons rally crashed the Crew's party ending in a 25-17 victory for the visitors to cap off Sunday's doubleheader.

Hoping to continue the momentum from the last inning of Sunday's curtain raiser, the visiting Falcons were the first to hit in the top of the first inning in game two. Though they managed to score two in the inning, the bats had certainly cooled off since the nine run onslaught they'd unleashed to finish the Storm game.

The Crew, sans-walkup music for some reason, answered by scoring their first 5 batters to take a 5-2 lead.

Hoping to re-ignite the bats, the Falcons came up in the top of the second, scored Ace of Base's lead-off single, but got nothing else. The Falcons' line up was beginning to smell of an SLF taint. The Crew, enjoying BP from Teets' tired arm, put up a MAX6, and I guess figuring that was enough, took essentially the rest of the game off... offensively, anyway. After two, they led 11-3.

But that's not to say the Falcons then lit up the scoreboard. Quite the opposite: 2 in the third, 1 in the fourth, and a delicious doughnut in the fifth, and it looked like the Falcons were a cooked goose. Going into the sixth inning, the Crew sat comfortably in the lead, 14-6.

But this is slo pitch, after all... Except for Flash, every Falcon had at least one hit in the sixth inning, and almost all of them got up twice. 161 game in a row achiever Million Dollar Bill led off with a single. After a predictable SLF pop-out, Cowboy single, Barry Guerrero Jr double, Grahambo double then Beatty dinger. Goliath started it back up with a single, Flash's lone AB's pop out, Ace of Base single, Teets double, MDB single, you'll-tell-your-grandchildren-you-saw-it SLF double somehow, Cowboy single, BGJ single, Grahambo double and Beatty's second giant dong of the inning capped off a 14-run assault to put the Falcons up 6 after 6. The Crew, exhausted from defence probably, managed a hit in response but otherwise a doughnut.

Since this was an SLF-tainted line up, the late inning barrage of hit continued into the seventh. Five singles, a double and a sac fly plated 5 more runs. The Crew, down 9 going into the bottom of the seventh, put a scare into the visitor scoring three of their first four batters, but the bats inexplicable suddenly stopped.

Game notes: Time to reset the "two home runs in one inning counter"... Money quote from newly minted Iron Man Million Dollar Bill: "Wankers!"... Hopefully the bats can stay hot for the Falcons' date with the Expos on Tuesday, the sign out sheet looks full.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Cowboy (2), Grahambo (2), Barry Guerrero Jr (2), SLF, Teets
3B: None
HR: Beatty (2), Grahambo
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Beatty (5), Grahambo (5), Barry Guerrero Jr (4), Cowboy (4), Teets (3), Million Dollar Iron Billy (2), SLF, Goliath

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: None

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 43

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K1 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 5 (25% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

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Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

Tuesday 8:00PM August 9th, 2022

An eight man Falcons' squad reaped the benefits of a short batting order to put on a hit parade that outscored a late Expos hit parade 32-23.

With a pile of elitist Falcons outfielders signed out for some elitist's outfielding convention (ok ok, only SLF is an elitist but the rest of you get guilt by sign out association) the Falcons were forced to play with the dreaded 3-man outfield. Despite Dunner's insistence on having Flash featured in centerfield of the said dreaded 3-man outfield, Barry Guerrero Jr courageously volunteered to return to his old Barry Guerrero Jr Bonds stomping grounds.

Things looked awfully bleak in the top of the first when Dunner nearly made a 💩 sandwich in what should've been a relatively routine fly ball (one Poutine would've been all him for). But alas, the Falcons managed to get out of the inning after only allowing 2 runs.

With an M.I.A. Cowboy attending said elitist outfielding convention after his appointment with Dr. Hackemoff, Dunner took his spot as leadoff batter. Obviously looking to do great Grahambo-like things, Dunner did just that, hitting an opposite field Duncan that snuck inside the right field pole. Singles by Barry Guerrero Jr Bonds and Grahambo, followed by back-to-back doubles by Beatty and Ace of Base, and a Falcons hit parade was on. Four batters later, Dunner cashed Flash from first base on a triple-scored-double 🤨 to cap off the MAX6 inning.

After allowing three Expos' runs to cross the plate in the 2nd, the Falcons hit parade continued, recording another MAX6 from two 3-run dingers by Beatty and Dunner.

In the 3rd, the Falcons were able to hold the Expos off the score board, but the Expos kindly returned the favor after Beatty (also looking to do great Grahambo-like things) hit a Duncan for the final out of the inning because the Falcons were +2 in dingers.

The Falcons held the Expos off the scoresheet again in the 4th, and continued their hit parade to plate another MAX6 to build an 18-5 lead.

In the 5th, the undeterred Expos seemingly figured out how to take advantage of the Falcons dreaded 3-man outfield, starting their own hit parade to plate 10 runs (!) and getting themselves to within 3. In response, the Falcons hit parade only continued, sending 20 batters to the plate and scoring 14 (!).

The Expos hit parade continued in the 6th, plating 8 more runs before the final out was recorded. As the Falcons were returning to their dugout for their home-half at bats, the 1 hour 25 minute WMSPL mandated alarm bell rang, and the game was a wrap.

Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

Sunday 8:00PM August 7th, 2022

Million Dollar Bill played his 160th consecutive game, tying him with former Falcon "Iron" Mike Murphy (who was in attendance to witness the occasion!), in a 20-16 loss to a 9-man Storm squad in Sunday's doubleheader curtain raiser.

With 5 signouts (who didn't want to attend this milestone?), the Falcons had to play both games of the doubleheader with no rest in the stifling heat and choking humidity, as well as the ever present threat of severe weather. Can someone please change the climate back?

Nevertheless, the Falcons girded their tender loins and put up a three-spot in the top of the first inning. Storm responded in kind, but also kindly went up +2 in home runs in the process. Two more for the visitors in the top of the second gave them back the lead, but that's when the wheels fell off.

Storm stormed (HA!) back with 5 in the bottom of the second, four in the fourth, and 6 in the sixth. Coming up in the top of the seventh, the Falcons had a long, winding uphill battle if they wanted to come away with a victory.

And so, you know, they almost did!! The inning began with a Grahambo double, then went Beatty HR, Goliath single, Flash double, Ace of Base single, Teets single, and a Million Dollar Bill single before SLF was the inevitable first out of the inning. That didn't stop the train, though. Cowboy got it going again with a two-run triple followed by Barry Guerrero Jr's double. Grahambo came to the plate for the second time in the inning and now all of a sudden Storm seemed real interested in the score of the game. The Falcons had already scored 8 in the inning with the Grade A Beef of the order coming up. Grahambo moved Barry Guerrero Jr to third with a double, and Beatty scored him with a single.

Unfortunately, that's all she wrote for the Falcons in this one. Storm got Goliath to ground out to third, and Flash to pop out to right field, and they won what ended up being a bit of a squeaker.


Game notes: Beatty's tremendous contribution of THREE mammoth dingers and seven RBI was wasted... Things that were true when Billy began his epic streak: Joe Biden was Vice President; the UK was part of the EU; Jose Bautista still played pro ball; North Macedonia was simply "Macedonia"; the Legend Jerry Tone was still a Falcon; almost no one had heard the term "coronavirus"; Muhammad Ali, Gordie Howe, Arnold Palmer, Hugh Hefner, Monty Hall, and a bunch of others were living, breathing peeps.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Barry Guerrero Jr (2), Teets, Grahambo, Cowboy, Beatty, Flash
3B: Cowboy
HR: Beatty (3)(!)
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Beatty (7)(!), Flash (2), Cowboy (2), Iron Billy (2), SLF, Teets, Barry Guerrero Jr

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: None

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 47

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K1 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 6 (30% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)


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Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

Wednesday 9:30PM August 3rd, 2022

The baseball gods and the weather gods agreed for 85 minutes on Wednesday night to hold off on the rain so there could be a slo pitch game. The Isotopes and Falcons enjoyed the rain-free, but muggy night that ended with a 22-14 Falcons victory.

The Isotopes, who were averaging 16.5 runs per games (4th in all of WMSPL), showed why: After putting up 3 in the bottom of the first, they got past a down inning to put up a MAX6 and 5 more in the 4th. They were on a roll, scoring 5 in the sixth before the time limit put an end to the festivities.

Honestly: look at this radar map. LOOK AT IT. It didn't rain at all during the game!!

Game Notes: The time limit wiped out Cowboy's third triple of the game, which would have been not only the second time this season a Falcon had achieved that feat, but the second time in consecutive games... This game marked Million Dollar Bill's last time trailing Iron Mike in the all-time iron man streak. Come out this weekend to see Billy tie and break Mike's 160-game attendance streak. There might even be applause!

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Grahambo (3)(!), Beatty (2), Dunner (2), Barry Guerrero Jr (2), Flash, Ace of Base (a hustle job with a slide!)
3B: Cowboy (2)
HR: None
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Beatty (3), Cowboy (3), Ace of Base (3), Million Dollar Bill (3), Grahambo (2), Poutine (2), Teets (2), Barry Guerrero Jr (2), Flash, Dunner

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: None

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 30

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K1 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 1 (5% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

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Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights