Our Next Game

Monday, June 24th

Time: 9:30 PM
Opponent: vs. Hanet
Diamond: K1
Weather:

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CONGRATULATIONS, IRON BILLY!

Bill (190 straight games attended, from August 1, 2017 to July 14, 2023) is now the Falcons' all-time iron man, passing retired "Iron" Mike Murphy's 160 consecutive game streak on August 7, 2022!


FALCONS' FEAT WATCH 👀
🤡 Mediocrity

The last time Poutine's batting average was under the Slo-Pitch Mendoza Line was May 31, 2024.

🚲 Cycle

The last time a Falcon hit for the cycle was Grahambo on May 28, 2024.

💪 Two Home Runs In One Inning

The last time a Falcon hit two home runs in one inning was August 7, 2022.

🏃‍♂️💨 Two Triples In One Inning

The last time a Falcon hit two triples in one inning was August 27, 2023, when Dr J did the deed with the first two triples of his career!

🍻 Free Beer

It's been since May 28, 2024.


Be sure to check out our 🏛Hall of Fame🏛 page and re-live past Falcons glory days on our 🏆Accolades🏆 page.

Falcons News

assignment Just What The Chiropractic Doctor Ordered
Tuesday 8:00PM June 18th, 2024
Tuesday evening's 8:00pm matchup at K2 featured the Falcons vs Coulas Bone Crushers, both in 3rd place in the President's & VP's division standings, respectively. The Falcons were feeling good after a Father's day pizza night, riding the wave of a 1 game winning streak. Playing alternately like Jekyll & Hyde lately, you wondered which Falcons might show up for the game. Would it be the fearsome offense that put up 28 runs against a President's division team Sunday night? Or the limp dicked squad that could only score 4 against a VP division team a few games earlier?

With a 12 man lineup, the Falcons actually had some subs. What a concept! The top of the order got right to work in the 1st, with a leadoff Cowboy single, a Favourite-Jer RBI double, and a Barry Guerrero Jr (thanks for not getting suspended this game!) RBI double. This set the stage for "Grandpa Sr" Beatty to take his slow walk to the plate, his fearsome bat almost as scary as his ugly face, both striking fear into the heart of the poor Coulas pitcher. One swing of the bat and BOOM, the ball is deposited over the left field fence, 3 run dinger! Next up, Grahambo and DC single, Shohei walks (that's right folks, he's back baby! Flash who?!) and Poutine cashes two with a single. Falcons put up a max 6 with zero outs. That's more like it! The bottom half of the first saw Shohei allow 1 run on a sac fly, and Team Blue was up 6-1.

A Less-Favourite-Jer single and Miner Leaguer double was all the offense the Falcons could muster in the second. No need to worry, Shohei and the Falcons D put up a delicious doughnut of their own in the bottom half of the inning.

Top of third saw a More-Likable-Jer double, then three straight outs. Another zero for the Falcons offense. Would we see another disappointing loss to a VP division team? The D kept them in the game (not that kind of D, Labrecque!), with the Taxman's ninja cat like reflexes getting the first out of the inning on a quickly caught foul. One run was the extent of the Coulas damage on a double and RBI single. Falcons up 6-2 after three.

The Falcons O (not that kind of O, Labrecque!) went right back to work, staging a two out rally. A Labrecque triple, a Grandpa Jr RBI single, a Less-Likable-Jer RBI triple, a Taxman walk, a Miner Leaguer RBI double, and a two-RBI Cowboy triple, scored 5 runs. At this point, More-Handsome-Jer struts up to plate, his striking face and hunky physique breaking all the soccer mom's hearts across Durham region, surely even making the Coulas pitcher weak in the knees (not that there's anything wrong with that! Happy Pride!), and proceeds to deposit a ball over the center field fence. With one runner on and already plating 5 in the inning, it was a two run shot that only counted for one run. Nice "Grahambo", New Jer! Holding Coulas to a delicious doughnut in the bottom half of the inning, Falcons up 12-2 after four.

Top of the fifth saw singles by Barry Guerrero Jr and Grandpa Sr, an RBI Grahambo single, a DC single, a Shohei RBI single, and a Poutine sac fly (not that kind of sack, Labrecque!), plating 3 runs. The bottom half saw the beginning of what you might have thought was the Falcons presentation of Abbott & Costello's "Who's on First?" comedy routine. Most of Team Blue took the field, noticeably absent was someone at the shortstop position, with New Jer staring off into space in the dugout and Grahambo relieving himself on a tree behind the right field fence. You almost thought Grahambo wanted us to see him taking a piss, he was so close to the fence I could read his jersey name and number. Maybe he's an exhibitionist and is into that sort of thing? His lame excuse was that old Jer told him to play 2B the whole game, but that was clearly a bad joke, and who takes old Jer seriously, anyways? With Soccer-Mom-Heart-Throb-Jer in at SS, and in a questionable lineup change Poutine on the pitcher's mound for the 3 inning save, Coulas plated three. Falcons up 15-5 after five.

Top of sixth saw Miner Leaguer do his best Steve impression with a leadoff triple, and Cowboy touch green with an RBI single. Grandpa Sr cranked what would otherwise have been his 2nd long ball of the night, except the Falcons were plus 2 in HRs, so it only counts for an out. Since we're describing all crappy HR outcomes with different names of our fearless leader Grahambo, a HR-out is now coined a "Scotty", after Graham's first name. Nice Scotty, Beatty! Falcons plate one. Bottom six saw some more defensive positioning musical chairs, with Shohei ignoring the "2B" on the lineup card and setting up behind home plate as the catcher. Sorry Billy, Shohei is so used to both pitching and catching in the bedroom, that he can't help but do both on the field, too. The Falcons defense would give up four in the inning, up 16-9 after 6.

DC strode to the plate in the top of the 7th and said "I can be like Cowboy too" with a leadoff triple of his own. A Shohei sac fly plated one, then Poutine, New Grandpa, and Old Jer all singled to load the bases. The Taxman cashed one with a sac fly, and Miner Leaguer knocked in two with an RBI double, bringing the Falcons to the 20 run mark. Feels good, doesn't it? The bottom of the 7th saw the third and final act of the Falcons "Who's On First", with Grahambo playing left field for some dumb reason? Thankfully nobody hit the ball there, as Poutine would finally take care of business on the mound with a 1-2-3 inning, and Falcons win 20-9. That's two wins in a row, folks! Four more and we drink for free! A nice and easy VP weeknight matchup against Coulas was just what the Chiropractic Doctor Ordered.

NOTES:
1. Thanks goes out to Homie for scoring on an empty stomach, while watching the Jays game on her cell phone, and annoying old Jer by telling him the Jays score when he'd ask for the Falcons score. Attagirl, Homie!
2. Yours truly still has an unused raffle prize from the banquet for "$111 worth of Reconnective Healing" with Dr. Mike Coulas. I'm a little concerned that includes a happy ending, or some freaky thing I don't really understand, what do you think? Dare I look up "Reconnective Healing" on urbandictionary.com?
3. With 4 triples on the night, I'm wondering what's the record? Is there a way we can check for what was the most Falcons triples in a game?

Boxscore:

Team 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Final
Falcons 6 0 0 6 3 1 4 20
Coulas 1 0 1 0 3 4 0 9

Statistical Highlights

HR
info_outline
arrow_rightRyan:1
arrow_rightJeremy:1
3B
info_outline
arrow_rightDavid:1
arrow_rightMike:1
arrow_rightSteve:1
arrow_rightJeremy:1
2B
info_outline
arrow_rightChad:🔥 3
arrow_rightBarry:2
arrow_rightJeremy:2
RBI
info_outline
None
At The Plate
info_outline
arrow_rightBarry:🔥 4 for 4
arrow_rightMike:🔥 3 for 3 + SF
arrow_rightDavid:3 for 4
arrow_rightBill:3 for 4
arrow_rightJeremy:3 for 4
arrow_rightChad:3 for 4
arrow_rightJeremy:3 for 4
Team Fines
info_outline
arrow_rightJeremy:  $5 for SR3B $5
The team sincerely thanks you for your contributions!🤑
Tags: None
Posted on: Wednesday June 19th, 2024 at 9:53AM
assignment Pizza! Pizza! Pizza!
Sunday 6:30PM June 16th, 2024
The 2nd half of our 2024 Father's Day double header, saw the Falcons limping over to K1 to play the 3rd place Triple Play. With the Falcons having now won only 1 of 5, would they be able to regroup and get the bats going? Would it be a happy pizza night or a sad pizza night after the game?

The top of the first saw the Falcons bats wake up behind a leadoff Cowboy double, a miraculous Flash infield single, a Grahambo RBI fielders choice, then singles by "Grandpa Sr." Beatty (I know it's not a great nickname, is it?), SLF, and new "Grandpa Jr." Bill (I'm doubling down on the mediocre nicknames). It's been a while since we scored 5 in the first, it feels like. The home team won the inning plating a max 6 runs, Falcons down 6-5 after 1.

In the top of the second and rounding out the bottom of the order, Sean clearly felt like he was missing out on all the fun in the first inning, and launched a "Duncan" solo HR over the outfield fence. It would be the only run for the Falcons in the second. Not to be "out-Dunn", Triple Play would hit 3 dingers of their own in the bottom half, putting up another max 6. Falcons down 13-5 after 2. We're not getting worried yet, are we?

Heck no! Teeter, Dr. J, Paul "The Taxman" (how's that for a new nickname?), Miner Leaguer, Dunner and Flash all singled in the top of the third. That set the stage for a Grahambo 3 run homer that only counted for 2 runs. Do we have a name for that, or do we just call it a "Grahambo"? Falcons max 6 baby! Guess how many runs Triple Play put up in the bottom of the third? Another max 6 of course! Dammit, Falcons down 18-12 after 3.

The good guys kept the good times rollin' in the top of the 4th. Singles by Grandpa Sr, SLF and Grandpa Jr were followed by a Teeter sac fly, a Dr. J single, then RBI doubles from The Taxman and Miner Leaguer. This set the stage for a 2-run sac fly by Dunner, thanks to Grahambo sending Miner Leaguer home for the 2nd run on that play. Grahambo is hoping that will get him some votes for WMSPL third base coach of the year. Another Falcons max 6 in the fourth. That's more like it, boys! Teeter allowed a stingy one run in the bottom half, Falcons down 18-19.

A Cowboy double and a Flash RBI single in the top of the 5th, set the stage for a Grandpa Sr two run tater over the outfield fence. Not bad for an old grandpa, eh? Falcons score three in the frame. With a delicious doughnut from Teeter in the bottom of the 5th, the Falcons take the lead 21-19.

The hit parade continued (not my awesome jokes in the recaps guys, I mean actual Falcons hits in the game) top of 6 with a Dr. J single, a Taxman RBI double, and a Miner Leaguer single. Dunner stepped up to the plate next, with fiery eyes almost as red as his sunburned face, and barreled the ball to deep center field. We were all sure it was a goner, yet the loud "thwack" on the top of the plastic yellow fence covering begged to differ. When the ball bounced off the fence into the center fielder's glove, the Taxman looked helplessly to the Falcons bench as if to ask "was that an out?" (I wondered the same thing). Thankfully someone yelled at Paul to keep running, and Dunner's longest double ever plated two runs. Cowboy and Flash got in on the fun with an RBI double and single, respectively. Run-cashing singles by Grandpa Jr and Teeter rounded out a nice 7 run inning by the Falcons offence. With another 1 run allowed in the bottom half of the inning, the Falcons were up 28-20 after six. That's more like it!

At this point everybody was ready for pizza, and the Falcons put up their first offensive delicious doughnut of the game. The home team could only muster another 1 run in the bottom half of the inning, surely thanks to Flash's calming presence and top tier pitch calling behind the plate, right guys? Falcons win 28-21. It feels good, right?

NOTES:
- Shoutout to Paul's girlfriend Lindsay! Lindsay, a little bird told us you enjoy the game recaps, glad to hear it and we hope to see you out at a game sometime this season. We promise we'll be on our best behaviour!
- What's the deal with Cowboy not getting a triple this game? Is he getting lazy, or what?
- Did anyone feel weird about eating Domino's with a Pizzaco patch on their arm? Oh well. Pizza! Pizza! Pizza!

Boxscore:

Team 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Final
Falcons 5 1 6 6 3 7 0 28
Triple Play 6 6 6 1 0 1 1 21

Statistical Highlights

HR
info_outline
arrow_rightRyan:1
arrow_rightGraham:1
arrow_rightSean:1
3B
info_outline
None
2B
info_outline
arrow_rightSteve:🔥 3
arrow_rightBill:2
arrow_rightPaul:2
RBI
info_outline
arrow_rightSean:5
arrow_rightBill:4
At The Plate
info_outline
arrow_rightSean:🔥 4 for 4 + SF
arrow_rightMichael:4 for 5
arrow_rightRyan:4 for 5
arrow_rightJerome:4 for 5
arrow_rightAshley:3 for 4 + SF
Team Fines
info_outline
arrow_rightJeremy:  $5 for SR3B $5
The team sincerely thanks you for your contributions!🤑
Tags: None
Posted on: Monday June 17th, 2024 at 12:29PM
assignment This Game Is Stupid Anyways
Sunday 5:00PM June 16th, 2024
The once mighty Falcons entered the first leg of a Father's Day double header vs The Crew, riding a 2 game losing streak, having won only 1 game in their last 4 (ouch!). Surely the Falcons would snap out of their funk, and put on a show for the handful of daughters and spouses in attendance on a beautiful Sunday evening, right?

Or not. The top of the first saw two quick outs from Cowboy and Flash (who was hitting in the 2 spot due to what we can only assume was a clerical error). Grahambo reached on a double, and was cashed on an RBI single by "Grandpa Sr." Beatty (trying out a new nickname here). Falcons put up a not-at-all crooked 1 spot in the first. Unfortunately the Crew put up a very crooked max 6 in the bottom half of the inning, Falcons down 6-1.

After putting up a very round number (a big fat zero) in the top of the 2nd, it was deja vu with the home team Crew plating another max 6 in the 2nd. Falcons down 12-1 after two. This game is stupid anyways, right?

Five straight singles in the third and the Falcons put up a 3 spot. That number is kinda crooked, right? Two runs from the Crew in the bottom half, and we won an inning! Hallelujah!

Not-so-delicious donuts from team Blue in the 4th and 5th, and a 3 spot from the home team meant the good guys were down 17-4 after 5.

Top of 6th saw Cowboy and Flash get on base followed by a Grahambo 3 run dinger. Unfortunately bottom 6th saw Shohei get a crick in his neck from giving up a ton of homers, including two HR outs.

The top of the 7th saw a bunch of singles and a Dunner sac fly, then a bases clearing 3 RBI Cowboy triple. Falcons lose 23-11. This game is definitely stupid, anyways.

In more important news, Million Dollar Bill is now a grandpa! Of course he still came to play both games, 'cause that's what Bill does. He's not the Falcons Iron Man for nothing. Bill was kind enough to share a pic, isn't she lovely? Congrats, Billy!!

Boxscore:

Team 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Final
Falcons 1 0 3 0 0 3 4 11
The Crew 6 6 2 3 0 6 0 23

Statistical Highlights

HR
info_outline
arrow_rightGraham:1
3B
info_outline
arrow_rightSteve:1
2B
info_outline
None
RBI
info_outline
arrow_rightGraham:5
At The Plate
info_outline
arrow_rightSteve:3 for 4
arrow_rightGraham:3 for 4
arrow_rightSean:🔥 2 for 2 + SF
Team Fines
info_outline
arrow_rightJerome:  $5 for GIDP $5
arrow_rightRyan:  $5 for GIDP $5
arrow_rightMichael:  $5 for SR3B $5
The team sincerely thanks you for your contributions!🤑
Tags: None
Posted on: Monday June 17th, 2024 at 9:47AM
assignment Different VP Team, Same Result
Monday 8:00PM June 10th, 2024
The Falcons went as cold as the weather on Monday night as they fell to VP division-leading Surge, 16-4.

The game was moot from the get-go. Surge won every inning except the 4th when the Falcons actually plated multiple runs (2!). The home squad went sniffing for a comeback in the 6th as five of the first six Falcons hit safely but, to Surge’s credit, they limited the damage to only one run and put the game to bed shortly after.

Here’s a list of Falcons accomplishments from Monday night:
- We somehow scored less than the 5 runs we posted on Sunday. Quick check of the Elexicon map and it did show a 2-day power outage at K1.



- As you see below, there are absolutely no stats to highlight, which has never happened before?
- The team continued its streak of losing when someone gets ejected

To the last point, I’m still not sure what Barry Guerrero Jr did to warrant such an emphatic ejection. Yes, he is a veteran of the league and, yes, sometimes that means early onset glaucoma, but when the guy with the best eye for taking walks says the ball hit the ground before the plate, I believe him.

Of course, the umpire doesn’t know of Barry’s balls-of-steel patience at the dish but maybe just warn somebody before escalating to “No pointing! You’re out of the game”? If I went into law as a career I would absolutely take this case pro bono and argue that pointing at the ground does not equate to “Verbal abuse of official” as per the rules and, thus, does not warrant any further discipline. 20 witnesses + Mrs. Miner Leaguer would take the stand and I would likely still lose the case once Poutine got up there and vouched for the ump just so he can get more ABs next game.

GAME NOTES: Pay your fines to Million Dollar Bill and, if the power outage continues, we can at least cry into our pizzas on Sunday.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Barry Guerrero Jr, Goliath, Shohei
3B: None
HR: None
HR OUTS:
RBI: Beatty, Miner Leaguer, Million Dollar Bill

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: None

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: ?

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K1 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 1 (5% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

Boxscore:

Team 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Final
Surge 2 1 1 1 3 5 3 16
Falcons 1 0 0 2 0 1 0 4

Statistical Highlights

HR
info_outline
None
3B
info_outline
None
2B
info_outline
None
RBI
info_outline
None
At The Plate
info_outline
None
Team Fines
info_outline
arrow_rightBarry:  $15 for K👍 $15
The team sincerely thanks you for your contributions!🤑
Tags: None
Posted on: Tuesday June 11th, 2024 at 10:30AM
assignment Get Ready For A Barn Burner!
Sunday 6:30PM June 9th, 2024
Sunday's 6:30pm matchup at K1 pitted the mighty Falcons, with a WMSPL best 20.8 runs scored per game, against 2023 WMSPL tournament champs The Crew, with a league 3rd best 18.0 runs scored per game. With these offensive juggernauts there was sure to be a veritable panoply of power. Getcha popcorn ready, folks!

Just kidding! Put your popcorn away, this game was a friggin' snoozefest! Oops I mean a pitchers duel! Greg Maddux would've been proud of the hurlers in this game.

The top of the first saw a Crew leadoff triple, a couple outs, then a little two out rally: a double, walk, single and double to score three. The Falcons could only muster two runs in the bottom half of the first, with a Cowboy leadoff triple (what else is new?), then RBI singles by favourite-Jer and Beatty (do we not have any nicknames for Beatty?) . A ground-out, a fly-out and an FK by Flash "don't call me Shohei anymore" ended the inning. Falcons down 3-2 after 1.

The next 3.5 innings were either masterful displays of beer league pitching, or god awful offensive ineptitude. Delicious donuts lasted for what seemed like forever. I think Homie got asked the score and said "3-2" like 17 different times, "Still 3-2, really?" we'd say back. OK let's give some credit to Teeter, who settled in on the mound and put up those nice round numbers in the Crew boxscore in the 2nd, 3rd and 4th innings. At the same time the Falcons bats were not getting the job done sending 4, 5 and 3 hitters to the plate in each of those innings respectively, of course stranding anyone who managed to get on base.

With a pitching change in the 5th, Beatty gave Flash some words of encouragement "Ash is pitching a gem, you better bring it, Mike!" (translation: "Why the hell are you coming into the game when Ash is doing so well?"). Bring it he did thankfully, or maybe the Crew's offense just continued sucking, holding the visitors to a nice round number in the top half of the inning.

Bottom of 5 started with a couple easy outs. Cowboy and more-handsome-Jer both single to give Beatty a couple ducks, who does what he does best, depositing the ball beyond the left field fence with a 3 run dinger. Falcons up 5-3.

The top of the 6th saw the Crew plate one with a two out double then an RBI single, Falcons still lead 5-4. The Falcons were unable to pad the lead in the bottom half of the inning, putting up their 4th zero of the night.

The top half of the 7th saw the bottom of the Crew's order, who flied out then singled twice. Thankfully two more flyouts sealed the Falcons win at 5-4, mercifully ending this shitty offensive display for everyone involved.

NOTES:
- Old-Jer's on-base streak ended at a 104 games in a row. A new streak starts next game.
- Beatty knocked in 4 of the Falcons 5 RBI. Don't know what we'd do without you, Beatty!
- This was by far the Falcons worst offensive game of the year, after the 11 run tie vs Storm.
- You know what cures crappy hitting? Pizza, of course! Sunday's double header is a pizza night! So pay up your fines Falcons!

Boxscore:

Team 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Final
The Crew 3 0 0 0 0 1 0 4
Falcons 2 0 0 0 3 0 0 5

Statistical Highlights

HR
info_outline
arrow_rightRyan:1
3B
info_outline
arrow_rightSteve:1
2B
info_outline
None
RBI
info_outline
arrow_rightRyan:4
At The Plate
info_outline
arrow_rightJeremy:🔥 3 for 3
arrow_rightRyan:🔥 3 for 3
Team Fines
info_outline
arrow_rightMichael:  $5 for FK $5
The team sincerely thanks you for your contributions!🤑
Tags: win, the crew, teets, beatty, slf
Posted on: Monday June 10th, 2024 at 10:25AM
assignment That's Why They Play The Game
Wednesday 9:30PM June 5th, 2024
Before it started, one might have had some preconceived notions about Wednesday's 9:30pm Expos vs Falcons matchup. The Falcons, with 8 wins in 11 games, in 2nd place in the President's division, had a league best run differential of 91. The Expos, occupied 5th place in the VP division, still searching for their first win of the season. You might have thought this game would be a little lopsided, a laugher. You would be wrong.

The usual game day musical chairs of sign-outs and signing-back-in-again meant that superhunk and Old Jer's man crush Duran, secured as a spare and so excited to play for the Falcons that he was going to bring donuts for the team (this is not a joke), had his Wednesday night hopes and dreams dashed when Poutine decided he would indeed play sometime after 7pm during Arbour's pre-game nap. I'm sure Labrecque enjoyed texting Duran and telling him he wasn't needed anymore.

After the player formally known as Shohei (you'll see why soon) tossed a few warmup nibblers on the corner, he was feeling great. He then proceeded to walk the first Expos batter on 4 pitches, and give up a max 6 runs in the top of the 1st inning. Ouch. It was an omen of things to come.

In the bottom half of the first the Falcons bats answered. Powered by a patented Cowboy leadoff triple, a Barry Guerrero Jr RBI double, 4 straight singles, a Million Dollar Bill two-RBI double and a Paul SF, the home team put up a max 6 spot of their own. No big deal, the Falcons would be fine, right?

The second inning saw both teams put up 3 runs, including a 2-run dinger by Poutine, and a Duncan by Duncan himself.

After the Expos put up another max 6 runs in the third, the Falcons could only muster 3 runs in the bottom half of the inning (including another Cowboy triple), down 15-12 after 3. At this point Flash (notice we're going back to the old nickname now) clearly didn't have it and asked that longtime Falcons SP Teeter relieve him of his pitching duties for the night. How does one hold Storm to 11 runs in 7 innings, yet give up 15 runs to the Expos in 3? I have no clue.

Guess what the Expos did in the top of the fourth? Another max 6 runs, of course! The Falcons matched with a max 6 of their own, with a mix of singles and doubles. 21-18 Expos after four, we're still in it, right?

Ash pitched a nice 1 run 5th inning, and the Falcons finally took the lead in the bottom half, behind a bunch of things that I'm getting too lazy to type out. OK fine the highlights were a Barry Guerrero Jr triple, a Grahambo SF and a bunch of RBI singles. Falcons up 23-22 after 5 innings. This is it, we've got the lead for good, right?

Wrong. Expos put up a 3 spot in the top of the 6th, Falcons down 25-23.

With time on the game clock running out Cowboy leads off with a double. Barry Guerrero Jr who never swings at a pitch he doesn't like, takes a walk. Grahambo being the leader that he is knocks in an RBI single to bring the Falcons within 1. Then two infield flyouts and a flyball to right field, game over, Falcons lose 25-24.

Expos get their first win of the season. We didn't score the Expos at bats but had them at four HRs on the night. A handful of Falcons stayed behind for a sad post-game beer in the drizzly rain.

Onwards and upwards, boys. That's why they play the game.

Boxscore:

Team 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Final
Expos 6 3 6 6 1 3 0 25
Falcons 6 3 3 6 5 1 0 24

Statistical Highlights

HR
info_outline
arrow_rightMike:1
arrow_rightGraham:1
3B
info_outline
arrow_rightSteve:2
arrow_rightBarry:1
2B
info_outline
arrow_rightMike:🔥 3
RBI
info_outline
None
At The Plate
info_outline
arrow_rightMike:🔥 4 for 4
arrow_rightSteve:4 for 5
arrow_rightDavid:4 for 5
arrow_rightAshley:3 for 4
arrow_rightBill:3 for 4
arrow_rightGraham:3 for 4 + SF
Team Fines
info_outline
arrow_rightRyan:  $5 for FK $5
The team sincerely thanks you for your contributions!🤑
Tags: loss, expos
Posted on: Thursday June 6th, 2024 at 9:50AM
assignment Dunner's Return
Sunday 9:30PM June 2nd, 2024
Some timely late defence secured an 11-11 tie in the Sunday night rematch between the Falcons and Storm.

Carrying the momentum the Falcons had coming out of their game with the Isotopes at 8:00, the visitors (again!) put up a MAX6 in the top of the first inning using the maximum number of batters possible. When the sixth run scored, there were two out and the Falcons left the bases loaded. Undaunted, the Storm came right back to put up three, and it was on like whoever the hell Funky Kong is.

In the second, doubles by Barry Guerrero Jr and Poutine put up two more. Storm stormed (ha!) back with four of their own, highlighted by a double by Brian (!). Triples by Mills and dingers by Duran are not highlights as much as they are simply routine. Rene got over his fear of killing yet another Falcon pitcher to put up a triple and a double in this game, but his quest for the cycle was derailed when he hit his home run for an out because Duran and The Other Pilkey had already beaten him to it. But I digress...

A Falcon doughnut (metaphorical doughnut, no one brought snacks), gave way to Storm taking the lead with a deuce (again metaphorical, no one dropped trow at the field) in the bottom of three. The Falcons tied it up in the top of the fourth on a string of singles to score one. The Storm's offence then took a brief pause until the sixth to regroup.

In the pivotal sixth inning, Cowboy's leadoff single was eventually scored by a sacrifice fly by Beatty, and the Falcons were in the lead again. That lead was short lived, as the Storm put up another deuce in the bottom half to regain the lead and put the pressure on the visitors to do SOMETHING in the seventh.

And they did!

To lead off the top of the seventh, Poutine tripled and was immediately scored by a single by Million Dollar Bill. The rest of the offence fizzled, but they'd tied it up.

With the pressure on the Storm to just score ONE RUN in a slo-pitch game, they came ever so close. After Brian flew out to begin, Mills hit a single was on third base toot-suite after Duran moved him over on a single of his own. That was as far as he'd get, though. After intentionally walking Joey to load the bases, Shohei induced a popup to second by Rene for the second out, and Lance hit a grounder to short to finish them off.

Game Notes: Two Storm games in a row without a loss for the first time since August 30, 2021.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Shohei, Poutine, Barry Guerrero Jr
3B: None
HR: Strategically, none.
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Poutine (4), Million Dollar Bill (2), Sr, Dunner, Cowboy, Beatty, Shohei

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: None

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 45

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K2 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 1 (5% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

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Boxscore:

Team 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Final
Falcons 6 2 0 1 0 1 1 11
Storm 3 4 2 0 0 2 0 11

Statistical Highlights

HR
info_outline
None
3B
info_outline
arrow_rightMike:1
2B
info_outline
None
RBI
info_outline
arrow_rightMike:4
At The Plate
info_outline
arrow_rightSteve:🔥 4 for 4
arrow_rightJeremy:3 for 4
arrow_rightMike:3 for 4
arrow_rightMichael:3 for 4
arrow_rightBarry:3 for 4
Team Fines
info_outline
arrow_rightJeremy:  $10 for 2 GIDP $10
arrow_rightSean:  $5 for SR3B $5
arrow_rightBill:  $5 for GIDP $5
The team sincerely thanks you for your contributions!🤑
Tags: tie, storm, dunner, suspension
Posted on: Wednesday June 5th, 2024 at 8:26AM
assignment Skinner Cycle Sparks Falcons
Sunday 8:00PM June 2nd, 2024
"Won't happen again," a quote from Goliath after Friday's debacle against the Isotopes, was apt as the Falcons avenged that loss with a lopsided 31-9 victory on Sunday evening.

With Dunner suspended, the Falcons had to rely on Darryl from the A's, who performed well, going 4-for-5 with a double, three runs scored and two RBI. The rest of the game was stat-padding for the team so we won't elaborate here except to say that Sr definitely had a Sr moment trying to score an inside-the-park grand slam in what would be a 10-run sixth inning. The Falcons were already up by [checks notes...] twenty runs at the time of that hit so apologies are in order. 🙏

Game Notes: Skinner hit for the cycle for the first of what's to be many times as a Falcon. Too bad his homer doesn't count in the league tally as it was an inside-the-park job... No other notes. A well-played game on both sides of the ball for the visitors.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Cowboy (3), Poutine, Skinner, Sr, Barry Guerrero Jr
3B: Skinner, Sr
HR: Beatty, Poutine, Skinner, Barry Guerrero Jr
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Barry Guerrero Jr (5), Sr (5), Skinner (4), Beatty (3), Cowboy (3), Poutine (3), Dr J (3), Million Dollar Bill (2), The A's Darryl (2), Shohei

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: None

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 36

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K1 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 1 (5% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

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Boxscore:

Team 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Final
Falcons 6 6 0 6 3 10 0 31
Isotopes 2 0 0 2 0 5 0 9

Statistical Highlights

HR
info_outline
arrow_rightJeremy:1
arrow_rightMike:1
arrow_rightRyan:1
arrow_rightBarry:1
3B
info_outline
arrow_rightJeremy:1
arrow_rightJeremy:1
2B
info_outline
arrow_rightSteve:🔥 3
RBI
info_outline
arrow_rightJeremy:5
arrow_rightBarry:5
arrow_rightJeremy:4
At The Plate
info_outline
arrow_rightJeremy:🔥 6 for 6
arrow_rightBarry:🔥 6 for 6
arrow_rightMichael:5 for 6
arrow_rightBill:5 for 6
arrow_rightMike:5 for 6
arrow_rightSteve:5 for 6
Team Fines
info_outline
None
The team is severely disappointed in your lack of contributions!🤑
Tags: win, isotopes, skinner, cycle
Posted on: Wednesday June 5th, 2024 at 8:03AM
assignment Falcons' Winning Streak Ends As Ringling Bros Comes To Town
Friday 9:30PM May 31st, 2024
In honour of the Brooklin Fair, going on far enough away you can't see it but close enough you can hear the tractor pulls, the Falcons stumbled through a clown show riddled with errors to end their seven game winning streak in a 20-13 loss to the Isotopes that wasn't as close as the scoresheet says.

Dunner was ejected in the fourth inning for quoting the umpire in defence of Skinner being called out for stepping out of the batter's box on a hit. There isn't a pizza fine for this for some reason.

The bats, exhausted from the previous Storm game, went to sleep. The Falcons only managed seven runs over the first five innings, and that's no winning formula in slo pitch. The 'Topes, on the other hand were playing great ball and looking good doing it in their spiffy new duds.

Game Notes: Clown show. "Won't happen again," said Goliath.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Poutine (2)
3B: None
HR: None
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Poutine (4), Cowboy (3), Million Dollar Bill (2), Beatty, Dunner (pre-ejection), Handsoff, Sr, Teets

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: LOL

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 45

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K2 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 4 (20% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

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Boxscore:

Team 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Final
Falcons 0 1 1 4 1 2 5 14
Isotopes 2 5 3 2 6 2 X 20

Statistical Highlights

HR
info_outline
None
3B
info_outline
None
2B
info_outline
arrow_rightMike:2
RBI
info_outline
arrow_rightMike:4
At The Plate
info_outline
arrow_rightSteve:🔥 5 for 5
arrow_rightDavid:3 for 4 + BB
arrow_rightMike:3 for 4
arrow_rightJerome:3 for 4
Team Fines
info_outline
arrow_rightRyan:  $5 for FK + $5 for SR3B $10
The team sincerely thanks you for your contributions!🤑
Tags: loss, isotopes, clown show
Posted on: Tuesday June 4th, 2024 at 8:50AM
assignment Falcons Win Seventh Straight
Friday 8:00PM May 31st, 2024
In a game that may have reignited an actually competitive rivalry between Whitby's Most Beloved Slo-Pitch Team and the hated Storm, the Falcons held off a small Storm rally in the bottom of the seventh to hold onto a 17-16 victory.

In the past few years, it seems whatever was left from the league's fiercest and most fun rivalry was heavily skewed to the Storm side. Since the Falcons' 2019 Playoff Tournament victory, they'd only managed 5 wins in 14 games versus the Storm. But this game felt different from the last few between the teams. There was tension, great plays, timely hits and clutch defence (yes, defence in slo pitch).

A two-run single from Handsoff highlighted a 3-run first inning for the visiting Falcons. Storm immediately responded with four to take a lead that in the recent past may have deflated the Falcon balloons. But not on this night.

The Falcons re-took the lead in the top of the second. Poutine singled to bring his batting average over the slo pitch Mendoza line, where it remains as of this writing. Three singles over the next six batters added two runs. Pesky Storm wouldn't quit either. Solo two-out dingers from Duran and Joey put Storm up by one again. With Storm out of homers to hit, the Falcons began the onslaught. Six singles and two doubles in the top of three put up a MAX6 giving the Falcons a five run cushion. The Storm wasn't happy with that and wiped out most of it in their turn to bat, scoring four.

Over the next three innings, the Falcons only put up a run each, while Storm scored five over the same period. Going into the seventh, the Falcons were down one, trailing 15-14.

Dr J and Poutine led off the seventh flying out to right. Down to their last out, and Storm probably already celebrating a well-earned comeback victory, the Falcons staged a rally. Five straight singles produced both three runs for blue, and an elevated frustration level for orange. In the bottom of the seventh, the Storm started with singles from Lance and Bob, but could only produce one run as the Falcons retired the next three hitters in a row.

In the end, everyone exhaled.

Game Notes: Falcons' rookies Skinner and Handsoff led the way with three RBI each... The Falcons reached on error four times in this game. The stats do not reflect this... Going up two dingers to none on solo shots hurt Storm, and one could argue that it cost them the game. They had two home run outs later in the game, one each by the players who had hit the original solo shots to begin with... Both those home run outs would have also been solo shots. Investigate?... The Falcons committed four errors, a laughably low number compared to the game that would follow.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Goliath, Poutine, Sr
3B: Poutine
HR: Beatty
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Skinner (3), Handsoff (3), Beatty (2), Cowboy (2), Million Dollar Bill (2), Teets (2), Goliath, Poutine, Sr

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: None

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 45

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K1 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 7 (35% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

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Boxscore:

Team 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Final
Falcons 3 2 6 1 1 1 3 17
Storm 4 2 4 2 3 0 1 16

Statistical Highlights

HR
info_outline
arrow_rightRyan:1
3B
info_outline
arrow_rightMike:1
2B
info_outline
None
RBI
info_outline
None
At The Plate
info_outline
arrow_rightJeremy:🔥 5 for 5
arrow_rightMike:3 for 4
arrow_rightJeremy:3 for 4
Team Fines
info_outline
None
The team is severely disappointed in your lack of contributions!🤑
Tags: win, storm, skinner, handsoff, the streak
Posted on: Tuesday June 4th, 2024 at 8:31AM