Tuesday 9:30PM June 21st, 2022

The Falcons are two thirds of the way to free beer after squeaking out a win by the narrowest of margins against the the expansion Expos on Tuesday. the 20-19 nail-biter puts the Falcons at 6-3 on the season, tied for third, 2.5 games behind the A's for the President's Division lead.

The Falcons started this game predictably, if you've been paying even the least bit of attention over the last decade or so. The winless Expos, who certainly play way above their record, would on paper seem like an easy task for the Falcons to dispatch. And of course it was that the Falcons began the top of the first inning with three giant farts and went three-up, three-down. Stop me if you've seen this movie before, but after that absolute dumpster fire of a top of the first, the Expos scored five times to take a strong lead after one.

Undeterred, the visitors began chipping away, though you'd be forgiven for thinking this line up was smeared with the SLF taint, because the offence was overwhelmingly stagnant in the early-going. Goliath led off the top of two with a walk, and was scored by a massive Beatty Blast (that stayed fair). Miner Leaguer followed with a triple, and was subsequently stranded by SLF who, as has become routine lately, dribbled out to the pitcher. Leaguer scored Million Dollar Bill's single that followed. The Expos added to their lead in the bottom half with a string of a walk and a couple hits to add one.

The third inning saw the top of the Falcons' order's chance to redeem themselves after falling on their face in their first at-bats. Cowboy's double was scored on Barry Guerrero Jr's single, and Barry himself scored on Goliath's home run that went as far vertically as it did horizontally. That tied the game, but the Expos were having none of it. Their lead-off single to start the bottom of the third was erased by a fielder's choice, and perpetual onion in the Falcons' ointment Tyler Gardinder's dinger scored two, to re-take the lead.

Goliath's moonshot in the third must have acted as the bat signal, because the Falcons' bats finally arrived in the fourth inning. Seven straight hits highlighted by Dunner's bases-loaded three-bagger scored the maximum six runs without recording an out. But the Expos were absolutely not willing to just let the Falcons run away with it. They tied it right back up in the bottom half scoring 4.

But back came the Falcons in the fifth: Beatty led off with a double and immediately needed a courtesy runner, a recliner and an oxygen tank. SLF doubled and was scored by Million Dollar Bill's 2RBI single. Dr J walked and was moved to third by Ace of Base's double. With two ducks on, Cowboy flared one to right field that skipped past the outfielder and allowed him an inside-the-park home run (the legit kind!), a fact that would come into play in just a few minutes. Barry Guerrero Jr doubled and was scored by Goliath to put a cap on a seven-run fifth to give the visitors a 19-12 lead.

And the Expos responded! Tyler hit a solo blast, the Expos 4th home run of the day (as compared to the Falcons' two... inside-the-park jobs don't count towards a team's HR count as it applies to the +2 rule). A single by Kevin followed, then a walk by Mike. Derek singled, and that was followed by two consecutive bases on balls issued by emergency pitcher Million Dollar Bill to load the bases for Cristian, who struck out for the second out of the inning. Undeterred, Sean, rocking a #99 jersey, strode to the plate and hit a no-doubter over the left field fence to give the Expos the lead! Or so they thought...

Newest Falcons hero Homie, keeping a pro scorecard, as a pro does, spoke up. Amid the Expos celebration she "shouted" to the ump "Uh, that doesn't count! They're up plus-two!". After confirming with the umpire (who had to deliver the bad news that inside-the-park homers don't count towards a team's total) to the Expos bench, the inning ended on a massive let-down for the home side. And they still didn't give up.

The Falcons pushed across an insurance run they'd eventually badly need in the top of the sixth. With the WMSPL-mandated 85-minute time limit rapidly approaching, the Expos gave it one last shot. They began the bottom of the sixth with six hits sandwiching a fielder's choice to score four and get within one. Million Dollar Bill induced a couple fly-outs to end it.

Game notes: Cowboy missed hitting for the cycle because he didn't hit a triple. Beatty also missed hitting for the cycle because asking him to hit a triple was as if you asked him to give birth... Looking ahead to Friday's rain-out makeup date against Triple Play, the Falcons have enough players signed out to put the free beer milestone in serious jeopardy.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Cowboy (2), Beatty, Ace of Base, Million Dollar Bill, SLF, Barry Guerrero Jr
3B: Dunner (!), Miner Leaguer
HR: Beatty, Cowboy (IP), Goliath
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Cowboy (4), Goliath (4), Dunner (3), Million Dollar Bill (3), Beatty (2), Ace of Base (2), Barry Guerrero Jr, Dr J

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: None

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 46

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K2 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 3 (15% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

Follow the @ShittyFalcons on Twitter (Seriously)

SHARE!
TWEET this recap to your followers.

SHARE this story on Facebook with all your friends!

EMAIL this story to your friends and non-social-media-conscious family to read of your exploits!

Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

Sunday 6:30PM June 19th, 2022

Knowing that at the end of the game there would be pizza, since it was a Pizza Night by Pizzaco Sunday Doubleheader, the Falcons and Crew played an efficient 55-minute game of slo pitch that ended in a 10-6 victory for the Falcons.

The problem with finishing up in under an hour was that the pizza wasn't scheduled to arrive until 8:00 pm... More time for beer!

There weren't a ton of highlights in this one: A Poutine dinger, Ace of Base contributing to his own Pizza Night by Pizzaco Sunday Doubleheader cause with strikeouts both FK and LOOKING, and Flash showing off the twist in a 6-4-3 twin killing. Those were all overshadowed by the Crew's Kyle nearly getting his face taken off on a deflection from his outfield partner's glove. He says he was OK, his eye told a different story.

Game notes: The Falcons put up a 6-run third, highlighted by Poutine's aforementioned dinger... Half way to free beer... 1/5 of the game one crowd didn't stick around for pizza after game two... Flash is batting .704 (!)

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Dunner (2), Cowboy, Barry Guerrero Jr, SLF
3B: None
HR: Poutine
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Poutine (3), Grahambo (2), Beatty (2), Miner Leaguer, SLF, Barry Guerrero Jr

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: Grahambo-Flash-Barry Guerrero Jr; Poutine-Million Dollar Bill-Barry Guerrero Jr (a bullet by Bill on this one)

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 35

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K1 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 8 (40% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

Follow the @ShittyFalcons on Twitter (Seriously)

SHARE!
TWEET this recap to your followers.

SHARE this story on Facebook with all your friends!

EMAIL this story to your friends and non-social-media-conscious family to read of your exploits!

Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

Sunday 5:00PM June 19th, 2022

On the last weekend of spring with the weather already showing signs of early autumn, the Falcons continued their winning ways with a 16-9 victory over Broadway in game one of a Pizza Night by Pizzaco Sunday Doubleheader.

Attendance for this game was low (by Pizza Night by Pizzaco Sunday Doubleheader standards), with only 11 Falcons showing up. Thankfully, despite the 401, Pizzaman Ace of Base, the man of the hour (and a half) was one of them.

The Falcons burst out of the gate in the top of the first inning, hunger pangs be damned. Dunner's line up did what it was supposed to do, with three straight hits following a Cowboy lead off walk scoring two. After Poutine flied out and Flash contributed to the pizza fund with a delicious FK, SLF knocked in two more with a single before the top half of the inning ended. Broadway responded with a mess of runs of their own, thanks to Shayne's 3-run bomb that was also almost a field goal. After one, the Falcons led 5-3.

The Falcons were able to score another two runs in the second, the then the bats went silent for a couple innings. In the top of the fifth, the bats re-awakened to the tune of four runs, three of which were scored on a Beatty Blast, his first as a Falcon. For a guy who was on the Falcons' milk carton as recently as Friday, the relief was noticeable. Thanks to Beatty's dinger, that allowed Broadway some leeway to hit another home run. Indeed, until they scored a singleton in the seventh, all of Broadway's runs came via the long ball, a very Blue Jays-esque way to play slo pitch.

In the end, socking bombs wasn't a sustainable way to increase their run count, especially since the Falcons could barely get the ball into the outfield, never mind over the fence.

Game notes: With their second consecutive victory, the Falcons are fully 1/3 of the way to free beer... Miner Leaguer was a dinger away from the cycle... and That's about it.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Grahambo (2), Dunner, Miner Leaguer, Poutine
3B: Miner Leaguer
HR: Ryan (nickname pending) Beatty
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Grahambo (5), Beatty (3), Dunner (3), Miner Leaguer (2), SLF (2), Cowboy

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: None

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 35

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K1 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 10 (50% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

Follow the @ShittyFalcons on Twitter (Seriously)

SHARE!
TWEET this recap to your followers.

SHARE this story on Facebook with all your friends!

EMAIL this story to your friends and non-social-media-conscious family to read of your exploits!

Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

After the Falcons' missing person milk carton campaign failed to produce any tips about Ryan's whereabouts, the Falcons brass have since requested an Ontario-wide Amber Alert be issued to help find the Falcons' star rookie.

The news of OPP's refusal to issue the alarm - due its the strict age requirement (18 years of age and under) - has severely disappointed the very small, yet worried Falcons' fanbase.

Consequently, the Falcons brass are now seeking the assistance of the loyal readers of this very website...that's you!

If you have any information about Ryan's whereabouts, please call the hotline ASAP at:
1-800-RYAN-MIA

Wednesday 8:00PM June 15th, 2022

A short Falcons squad took care of business defeating the expansion Isotopes going away, to get back to .500 on the season.

With the Sign Out sheet filled in black and what's becoming a customary late Tulk sign out, Falcons' team rep (Flash) had no problem suggesting the team would play with three outfielders to avoid the forfeit. Little did the typical infielder know, his Flash speed would've been featured in center field to get him acquainted with the challenges of playing with a three man outfield.

Thankfully however, Ash slapped some KT Tape on his ailing groin and got the team to nine.

With SLF's name blacked out on the Sign Out sheet - surely doing something "important" for Oshawa Baseball - the Falcons had no fans in the stands and no one to keep score.

Consequently, don't remember the details, but the Isotopes jumped out to a quick 3-0 lead. In response, the Falcons countered by platting the 6-run max, highlighted by a bases loaded 3 RBI Flash single-scored triple, after the throw from the outfield found the Isotopes dugout.

In the 2nd, don't remember the details, but the Isotopes scratched in another 3 to tie the game at sixes. The Falcons could only scratch in 2 in the home half of the inning, thanks to the two-run opposite field home run off the bat of a Monica Seles grunting Poutine; his her first HR of the season.

The 3rd inning saw the Isotopes plate yet another 3 runs (don't remember the details) to go up by 1, but the Falcons retook the lead after scoring 4 to go up 12-9.

In the 4th, the Isotopes streak of 3 runs per inning was finally snapped after the Falcons were informed the 'Topes had only plated 2 (don't remember the details). After scratching in another 5 in the bottom half of the inning, the guys in blue built their lead to 17-11.

The 'Topes got back to their 3 runs per inning ways in the 5th (don't remember the details), but the Falcons won the inning by plating 4 to get themselves up by a converted touchdown. That's 7 for anyone not familiar with football.

In the 6th, you surely guessed it, another 3 runs by the 'Topes (don't remember the details), but the Falcons countered by doubling that output, highlighted by another Monica Seles grunting Poutine home run, his her 2nd of the game and season.

In the 7th, the Falcons took the field with a somewhat comfortable 10-run lead, and recorded the 3 final outs over the 3 (or maybe 4, don't remember the details) batters faced.

Game Notes:

• Flash is not only vying to become the Falcons' 3 man outfield center fielder, but also the Falcons' leadoff batter after another sparkling performance at the plate.
• A vulnerable Poutine decided to disclose his erectile disfunction to everyone in attendance shouting "I CAN'T F*CK!!!" as he caught the final fly ball out of the game. There are pills to help with that Mike! 🙃
• Grahambo got a taste of what it's like to not have ducks to cash in when at the plate.
• With Colin's surprise delivery of piping hot delicious pizzas to the parking lot after the game, this game was literally sponsored by:
  .
  If you haven't tried PizzaCo yet, you really should and help support a local business! The Cajun Chicken Pizza is to die for!
  When ordering, be sure to use the MONICA_SELES_POUTINE_GRUNT discount code! 🙃

Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

Sunday 9:30PM June 12th, 2022

After getting curb-stomped and left for dead by Storm in game 1, the Falcons got up, dusted themselves off and played just hard enough to have their heart ripped out when the A's walked them off in the bottom of the seventh for a 16-15 win.

As the visitors in game 2, the Falcons got the immediate opportunity to show that the past is in the rear-view mirror and this is a new game. The offence responded: The Falcons began the game with a 6-run inning without recording an extra-base hit. The A's offence sputtered in the bottom half, and after 1, the Falcons were up 6-0.

And that's where the Falcons showed why they got demolished in game 1: they didn't score again until the fifth inning where they only put up a singleton, then followed in the sixth with only 2 more. Meanwhile, the A's chipped away at the Falcons' lead, and were up 11-9 going into the seventh inning.

In the exciting seventh, SLF led off with a double, and was scored a couple batters later when Million Dollar Bill drove him in. Teets got it all going again with another double, and Cowboy singled. Grahambo was intentionally walked to load the bases for Goliath, a curious strategy (NOT BY NANOS!). Goliath immediately scored two with a single, and Dunner followed with an RBI single of his own. In total, the Falcons scored six and took a four-run lead into the bottom of the seventh.

The A's roared out with four straight singles, a Jomo "triple", and a game winning single by David "I don't intentionally walk ANYONE" Nanos.

Game notes: Nanos didn't want to be mentioned in our "little write-up"... It should be noted that Nanos was the mastermind behind the IBB to Grahambo in the seventh... Four A's were wearing the black uniform. Four A's were wearing the Camo uniform, and two A's were wearing the throwback Kelly green uniform. See WMSPL rule #25.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Teets (2), Grahambo
3B: None
HR: None
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Goliath (4), Ace of Base (3), Teets (2), Flash, Cowboy, Grahambo, Dunner, Million Dollar Bill, SLF

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: One or two, but I can't remember who

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 43

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K2 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 2 (10% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)


Follow the @ShittyFalcons on Twitter (Seriously)

SHARE!
TWEET this recap to your followers.

SHARE this story on Facebook with all your friends!

EMAIL this story to your friends and non-social-media-conscious family to read of your exploits!

Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

Sunday 8:00PM June 12th, 2022

Storm enacted sweet, sweet revenge for last week's beat-down with a right and proper 26-1 flogging of the Falcons on Sunday evening.

It seems I was premature in 2019 when I used the recap headline "Bed-$#!tting Falcons $#!t Bed", because it seems more appropriate for this game. It started poorly and got worse. Then after you thought it probably couldn't get worse, it obviously did. If it weren't for the most impotent of rallies in the sixth, the Falcons would have been shut out. In slo pitch. IN SLO PITCH!!

Storm, wearing last week's Falcons' hitting shoes (that they stole in exchange for not tanking our lunch money), put on a revenge clinic in the top of the first inning. The Falcons were only able to retire a single Storm player before they put up a 6-pack to end the top half of the inning.

In the bottom of the first, the Falcons put up a club sandwich of fly-outs; the turkey and bacon in this analogy being singles by Barry Guerrero Jr and Goliath. Anyway, a doughnut. A steaming turd of a doughnut.

By some miracle, the Falcons were able to hold Storm to no runs in the second. Don't get used to that.

Showing a glimmer of hope, SLF led off the bottom of the second with a single because Joey threw the routine ground ball directly into Al's view of the beautiful setting sun. His self-preservation allowed SLF to reach safely. This was followed by a fielder's choice by Flash to put him on first with one out.

Flash then showed the world why he's earned the his nickname. Ace of Base hit a short routine fly to right-centre and Flash smartly took advantage of the outfielder's malaise by advancing to second on the play. In fact, he was so fast he managed to get all the way to second before the ball was even caught!! How was he able to return to first, tag, and get there before the ball was caught? A glitch in the Matrix? No, but a glitch is what would have been required for Mike to get back to first before being doubled off. The inning-ending double play cost someone $5.

And that was the Falcons night in a nutshell. If there was a play to be made that could have gone either way, it didn't go the Falcons' way. Seven innings should have 21 outs, and the Falcons only managed to record 16 of them, and probably five of them were Storm getting themselves out (including two HR-Outs).

Fast forward mercifully to the sixth (if only we could have done that instead of experiencing this in real-time): Barry Guerrero Jr led off with a single, and was promptly retired on Grahambo's GIDP. Typical Falcons on this night. Goliath re-started the rally with a solid single, and was moved to second by Dunner's single. This is where the Falcons put the fear of God into Storm: with two on and two out, SLF began the come back with a single to right to score Goliath. Flash immediately followed with a fielder's choice and the inning was over. Was it as good for you as it was for me?

Storm added three insurance runs in the top of the seventh, and the Falcons responded in their final at bats with a three-batter-long extended fart noise to end it. Onto the A's!

Game notes: Duran must have been absolutely STEAMING playing this game. Firstly, it seems newcomer Mills is faster than Duran, which I'm sure is a sore spot. But in addition, Duran was hitting behind Rene who, instead of jacking dingers to leave clear base-paths for Duran, was only hitting singles. This left no room for the horse to gallop, and Duran was limited to only 3 singles and a double. This has been the Duran fan report... There are SR3B's missing from the score sheet so if anyone wants to own up to any fines, that would be helpful... Holy shit we didn't even record an extra-base hit. In goddamn slo pitch!! Honestly, a default would have been better... "SEND 'EM!!"

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: NONE
3B: NONE
HR: NONE
HR-OUTS: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
RBI: SLF

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: If there was one, Storm ran into it on purpose out of pity.
PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 53(!)

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K1 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 3 (15% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)


Follow the @ShittyFalcons on Twitter (Seriously)

SHARE!
TWEET this recap to your followers.

SHARE this story on Facebook with all your friends!

EMAIL this story to your friends and non-social-media-conscious family to read of your exploits!

Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

Not a lot of movement in the rankings this week, and that'll happen when half the week's game days are rained out. We have a new leader, however. The A's are in a precarious position at #1 and will need to keep winning to stay there. Lots of teams are nipping at their heels.

#1. A'S
(4-1 Overall; 2nd in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 3)

To be the best, you have to beat the best. Despite still being a half-game behind the President's Division leading The Crew, the A's take the top spot after holding off a late come back attempt by that same Crew team on Sunday, their third win in a row. Trends are meaningless (are trends meaningless?) but so far this year no President's division team has lost to a VP division team, so if the A's hadn't been rained out against the Buellers on Tuesday...?

#2. THE CREW
(5-1 Overall; 1st in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 1)

A minor stumble for The Crew on Sunday dropped them out of the top spot, and a slaughter of Surge on Wednesday wasn't enough to get them back up there. Nevertheless, The Crew seems to be back to the level of the early teens, when they were the St Louis Devils and winning all the time.

#3. THE BUELLERS
(3-1-1 Overall; Tied for 1st in Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 7)

The biggest jump of the week is The Buellers' jump from 7th up to third. Is that because the last game they played was against the struggling Expos? Yeah maybe. But they're undefeated in their own division and own the VP's best run differential.

#4. TRIPLE PLAY
(3-1-1 Overall; Tied for 1st in Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 4)

No movement for a Triple Play squad who remain tied for first with the surging Buellers in the VP division. Like the Buellers, they benefited from playing on Sunday against one of the expansion teams, and their mid-week game against a President's division team was rained out.

#5. FALCONS
(2-1 Overall; Tied for 3rd in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 6)

Big win for the Falcons on Sunday, beating rival Storm and moving up to a tie for third with Hanet in the President's division. Rain got in the way of trying to extend their season-high two-game winning streak, and this weekend poses a challenge: a double header against Storm and the A's.

#6. HANET PLASTICS
(3-2 Overall; Tied for 3rd in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 2)

So Hanet loses one game and drops from 2nd down to 6th? They're still playing .600 ball and are a threat to any opponent. Hanet has the same opponents as the Falcons this weekend. Results of these games will present themselves in the rankings next week.

#7. BROADWAY
(3-3; Tied for 5th in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 10)

Broadway jumps 3 spots this week thanks to a win over Hanet on Sunday and a steamrolling of Coulas on the only rain-free day of the week. Along with the A's, they hold the league's best current winning streak at three games. They'll enjoy a much-deserved weekend off and get to begin next week against the Expos.

#8. STORM
(1-2 Overall; 6th in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 5)

They've only lost one in a row, and they've only played 3 games thanks to scheduling and weather. But they're under .500 and have a negative run differential. I doubt they'll stay in the bottom of the President's division for long.

#9. COULAS BONE CRUSHERS
(1-3 Overall; tied for 3rd in Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 11)

Coulas jumps a couple spots this week on a decisive victory over Surge on the weekend, and despite getting flattened by Broadway. Another jump in the rankings could happen after an upcoming weekend double header against Surge and the Isotopes.

#10. SURGE
(1-3 Overall; 6th in Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 7)

Surge continues to drop in the rankings with every loss. They're now 1-3 and haven't won since their season debut against the Isotopes.

#11. ISOTOPES
(1-4 Overall; 5th in Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 9)

The Isotopes' only win this season was a default victory over The Expos. Like The Expos, the Isotopes are an expansion team full of players who have just met and are still trying to gel.

#12. THE EXPOS
(0-5 Overall; 6th Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 12)

The Expos continue to search for their first victory in franchise history. They'll get the weekend off to come up with a battle plan.

Follow the @ShittyFalcons on Twitter (Seriously)

SHARE!

TWEET the Power Rankings to your followers.

SHARE this story on Facebook with all your friends!

EMAIL this story to your friends and non-social-media-conscious family to read of your exploits!

The Town of Whitby has pulled the permits for our diamonds for tonight.

The schedule will be updated when the game gets rescheduled.

Sunday 8:00PM June 5th, 2022

Several Falcons had themselves a night in a 31-19 victory over Storm on Sunday evening.

"You guys had your hitting shoes on tonight!" said long time Storm shortstop Joey Pilkey, which was putting it lightly. Storm is generally gracious in victory and in defeat and Sunday was no different. The visiting Falcons jumped out to an early lead after Storm's Jeff walked the first two batters and that was followed by two consecutive singles and a sac fly. An early 2-0 lead should have been 3-0 were it not for SLF getting nailed straying too far off third base after Grahambo's single. Storm ended up winning the inning, after a lead off Duncan by Duran and a few hits scattered over the next few batters.

In the second, Flash flashed (HA!) the wheels with a lead off double. Dr J grounded to short and Flash danced like Magic Mike enough to draw an errant throw from Joey keeping all hands safe. After Teets extended his 0-for-the-season streak with a pop out to centre, Ace of Base rocketed a double to the wall scoring one. A productive groundout by SLF scored Dr J followed by a Barry Guerrero Jr RBI single. In the bottom half, a couple singles and a sacrifice fly plated one for the home side.

In the third, the teams exchanged deuces, which is something you'd normally see at the monkey house at the zoo.

The Falcons began to pour it on in the fourth. The first 5 batters reached base. Grahambo's triple scored two, and he was only a dinger away from a natural cycle. Goliath followed with a "triple" of his own and was scored by Poutine's sac fly. Dunner followed with a DUNN-can, leaving him only a three-bagger away from a cycle of his own. In total, the Falcons plated 5, and they needed it. Storm responded with a two-spot, and were only down four runs, which is way too close for comfort against a team as talented as them.

Needing a bit of a cushion, the hits just kept on coming for the Falcons in the fifth. Six straight hits began the inning, including Grahambo's dinger to give him the natural cycle. It wasn't long ago that the Falcons went literal years between players hitting for the cycle, but in this game the game was literal minutes. The Falcons put up 6 in the fifth, and held the home side to only two.

The wheels fell off for Storm in the sixth, but they were impressively composed. Teets led off the inning with his first "hit" of the season, a "double" off the glove of the right fielder. That was immediately followed by Ace of Base's second two-bagger of the game scoring Teets and the Falcons began what would end up being a 10-run inning. Dunner's triple, to give him the Falcons' second cycle of the game (!) was only overshadowed by Teets' second double of the inning.

It's not like Storm was exactly struggling offensively in this game. They scored in every inning and ended up scoring 19 runs highlighted by Lance's seventh inning grand slam. But the SLF-taint free line up Dunner put together produced 31 runs to win.

Game notes: Jesus, where do we start? Flash showed why he's earned that nickname with two doubles and five total hits... Ace of Base's bat was en fuego, rocketing two doubles of his own... Grahambo and Dunner both had 7 RBI, each coming just short of Dunner's 10 RBI record... Every Falcon got at least two hits, and scored at least one run.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Flash (2), Ace of Base (2), Poutine (2), Teets (2), Barry Guerrero Jr, Dunner, Grahambo, Goliath
3B: Goliath, Grahambo, Dunner, Poutine
HR: Grahambo (2), Dunner (2), Goliath
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Grahambo (7)(!), Dunner (7)(!), Goliath (3), Poutine (3), Barry Guerrero Jr (3), Flash (2), Ace of Base (2), SLF (2), Teets, Million Dollar Bill

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: Dr J-Grahambo-Barry Guerrero Jr
PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 44

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K1 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 1 (5% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)


Follow the @ShittyFalcons on Twitter (Seriously)

SHARE!
TWEET this recap to your followers.

SHARE this story on Facebook with all your friends!

EMAIL this story to your friends and non-social-media-conscious family to read of your exploits!

Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

NOTE: Information contained herein was accurate as of the morning of Friday June 3, 2022. Sorry for the tardiness.

Thanks to the scheduling quirks of the new 32-game WMSPL season, we're now more than a week into the season and there's a significant discrepancy between the number of games played by some teams. How can you accurately rank a team that's only played two games when some have played four? It's not easy, but years of making shit up for a power rankings column certainly helps.

Also: we're barely into the season, and at least one team hasn't reported a score for a game, like it's no big deal. I'm not going to mention the team by name, but does anyone have any guesses who the perps are? Anyone? Bueller(s)?

#1. THE CREW
(4-0 Overall; Tied for 1st in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 1)

Good thing The Crew were moved up to the President's division due to the addition of the expansion franchises in the VP division. Otherwise they might, thanks to the unbalanced schedule, have an even BIGGER run differential than their current... (checks notes)... PLUS 32?!? After four goddamn games?

#2. HANET PLASTICS
(3-1 Overall; Tied for 2nd in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 6)

Hanet would probably be undefeated if they hadn't run into the #1 Crew this week. Even then, they only lost by 3 runs. Christopher leads the WMSPL with 7 dingers in only 4 games, a circa-2010-Joey pace. A force to be reckoned with for sure. With games coming up against Broadway and Isotopes this week, expect to see Hanet maintain this position or higher next week.

#3. A'S
(3-1 Overall; Tied for 2nd in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 2)

The only blemish on the A's record is a loss to the aforementioned Hanet. Other than that, the A's have looked like the A's: lots of offence, and enough defence to win.

#4. TRIPLE PLAY
(2-1-1 Overall; 1st in Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 4)

Triple Play may be the biggest beneficiaries of The Crew's move up to the President's Division. Their 2-1-1 record is good enough to lead the VP division.

#5. STORM
(1-1 Overall; Tied for 4th in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 7)

After dropping the season opener to the A's, Storm "stormed" (HA!) back with a convincing win over the "surging" (HA x 2!) Surge to even their record and move up a couple spots in the rankings.

#6. FALCONS
(1-1 Overall; Tied for 4th in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 11)

Wow, a 5-spot jump for a President's division team that simply evened their record with a win over a VP opponent? It's almost like I play for that team, isn't it?

#7. SURGE
(1-1; Tied for 2nd in Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 3)

Despite their -11 run differential, Surge gets the nod in the #7 spot in the rankings because I'm fairly sure #8 is the one who didn't report their score and that totally affects the rankings. I'm trying to provide a service here!!

#7. THE BUELLERS
(1-1-1 Overall; tied for last in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 5)

What's the Buellers' REAL record? Unknown. I'm not mad, just disappointed.

#9. ISOTOPES
(1-2 Overall; 4th in Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 7)

After dropping a heart-breaker to Surge to open the season, the Isotopes played a Sunday doubleheader, then unfortunately were thrown in front of the runaway train that is The Crew.

#10. BROADWAY
(1-3 Overall; 6th in President's Division)
(Rank last week: 10)

Broadway rebounded after an 0-3 start with a convincing win over the Buellers to get off the schneid.

#11. COULAS BONE CRUSHERS
(0-2 Overall; 5th in Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 9)

Winless Coulas stays out of the VP division basement owing to the fact that they've only played two games and are therefore a game ahead of The Expos in the standings.

#12. THE EXPOS
(0-4 Overall; 6th Vice President's Division)
(Rank last week: 12)

The Expos are a team that plays in the WMSPL.

Follow the @ShittyFalcons on Twitter (Seriously)

SHARE!

TWEET the Power Rankings to your followers.

SHARE this story on Facebook with all your friends!

EMAIL this story to your friends and non-social-media-conscious family to read of your exploits!